Memories
by devilssmile666
Summary: A case really hits home for Sara, so she opens up to Grissom about her childhood. Her past then comes back to haunt her when her mother is released from prison. GSR. Rated M because of the subject matter.
1. Ch 1: Finding Emily

MEMORIES:

Chapter 1 – Finding Emily

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything. Kelly Clarkson in mentioned in a few chapters, so I don't own any of her songs or anything else of hers.

**Summary:** A case really hits home for Sara, and she opens up to Grissom about her childhood. Then her past comes back to haunt her when her mother is released from prison. GSR!

**Rating:** M (for the language/content, not _that_)

**A/N:** This doesn't have a beta, so all mistakes are mine. Also, this fic has some content that may not be appropriate for some people. DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT LIKE IT WHEN CHILDREN ARE ABUSED, OR IF YOU DO NOT LIKE ABORTIONS!!!

* * *

Grissom walked into the break room where Sara and Catherine were relaxing. They both looked over at him when he walked in. They noticed his grim expression and perked up.

"Okay, we've got an apparent murder," he said. "There was an anonymous 911 call to the house...when the police arrived, they found a man, dead from multiple stab wounds. They also found the man's wife covered in blood, a knife clutched in her hands."

"So, why are we needed?" asked Catherine. "The husband probably cheated or pissed the wife off, so she snapped, crime solved."

"Or, the husband abused her and she had enough and stabbed him," said Sara bitterly.

"Okay, that's enough!" interrupted Grissom. "Let's get going."

They walked towards the car. Grissom lingered behind to talk to Sara.

"Are you going to be alright with this case, hon?" he asked with concern. "You know, with your childhood and all?"

"I'll be fine," she said with a smile, touched at his concern. "I'm glad you care, though."

He smiled brightly at her. He placed his hand on the small of her back and led her to the car. They arrived at the crime scene, and saw Brass (flanked with a few policed officers) talking to a blood-covered woman. The CSIs got out of the SUV and walked up to Brass and the house.

"Okay, can you guys work the interior?" asked Grissom. "Split it up however you want."

The two women walked inside the house, and were immediately met with the stench copper. The two CSIs instinctively opened their mouths' and started breathing through them, as they were trained. They walked into the bedroom and saw blood covering the walls. Blood was also pooling around the floor next to the body.

"I'm, uh, gonna process the rest of the house...if you don't mind, of course," said Sara, fighting back the bile that arose in her throat.

"Go ahead," said Catherine, oblivious to her coworker's discomfort.

Sara walked out of the bedroom, and saw a closed door opposite the bedroom. Sara pulled out her gun and opened the door cautiously. She saw that it was another bedroom, most likely a girl's. The walls were a soft, light pink, and posters of Kelly Clarkson littered the walls. Sara looked around the room, and saw a few photographs. Her eyes landed on one photograph in particular. It was a full-body photograph of a man, specifically, the dead man in the other room. The photograph was very large, and had some very disturbing phrases written on it. "_Because of you, I am afraid_," "_Because of you, I don't trust anyone around me_," and "_I was so young_!" were written in red capital letters right on the crotch of the man's pants. Also, the phrases, "_I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh, everyday of my life_," "_You never thought of anyone else, you just saw you pain_," "_Now I cry in the middle of the night, for the same damn thing_!" and "_Because of you, I try my hardest just to forget everything_!" were written across the photograph. Sara knew that these phrases – or should she say, lyrics – came from Kelly Clarkson's song _Because of You_.

Suddenly, movement in the corner of the room caught Sara's eye. She whipped around, and was met by the gaze of a young girl.

"Please help me!" the girl pleaded.

The girl was no older than 15 years old, and was scared to death. Sara then saw that the teen was in only her underwear. Her wrists and ankles were cut up, probably from being tied up. Bruises peppered the girl's pale skin. Her blonde hair was tangled. Fear was evident in the teen's electric-blue eyes. Sara rushed up to the terrified girl and called out, "Cath, call a medic!"

Catherine burst into the room, startled.

"Sara, you okay?" she asked.

"Yes, just get a medic!" said Sara. "Preferably female, please."

Sara turned her attention back to the petrified girl. She grasped her hand and asked, "What's your name?"

"Emily," squeaked the girl. "Yours?"

"I'm Sara...I work for the Las Vegas Crime Lab. Okay, Emily, help is coming," said Sara.

A few seconds later, two paramedics rushed in, Grissom was right behind them.

"Griss, could you please leave?" asked Sara. "Not trying to be rude, but she's uh...she doesn't have clothes on."

He nodded and walked back outside. They loaded Emily into the ambulance, and Sara said, "I'm gonna go with her."

Grissom nodded his understanding and said, "Try and get her statement if you can."

Sara nodded and hopped into the ambulance. She sat down next to Emily and said, "Everything's going to be okay."

* * *

**A/N:** That song, Kelly Clarkson's _Because of You_, is so freakin' awesome! I highly recommend it! Aw, hell, I recommend both of her CDs, Thankful and Breakaway! Well, let me know if you liked it or hated it...I am open to any comments (good or bad) because I would like to improve my writing. 


	2. Ch 2: Her Statement

MEMORIES:

Chapter 2 – Her Statement

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything. Kelly Clarkson in mentioned in a few chapters, so I don't own any of her songs or anything else of hers.

**Summary:** A case really hits home for Sara, so she opens up to Grissom about her childhood. Then her past comes back to haunt her when her mother is released from prison. GSR!

**Rating:** M (for the language/content, not _that_)

**A/N:** This doesn't have a beta, so all mistakes are mine. Also, this fic has some content that may not be appropriate for some people. DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT LIKE IT WHEN CHILDREN ARE ABUSED, OR IF YOU DO NOT LIKE ABORTIONS!!!

* * *

They arrived at the hospital a few minutes later. Emily was rushed to get several examinations done, so Sara waited for her in the waiting room. She walked to Emily's room after all the necessary exams were performed. Emily was lying on the hospital bed, hooked up to an IV machine. She looked so pale and fragile in the sliver of moonlight, which was shining in from the window. Emily's right wrist was in a cast, bruises and scratches littered the girl's nice complexion, and her neck was in a brace. Sara smiled, pulled up a chair, and sat down next to the bed containing the girl.

"Hey Em – can I call you Em?"

"Sure," replied Emily.

"How're you feeling?" asked Sara.

"Okay, considering the circumstances," she answered quietly. "Thank you, for everything you've done, Ms..."

"Sara, and you're welcome, Em," said the CSI.

"Okay, Sara," she said.

"Are you up to answering a few questions?" the brunette asked Emily.

"Sure," said Emily.

"First off, how old are you?" Sara asked.

"I turned 14 two weeks ago," said Emily.

"Okay...could you tell me what happened to you?" Sara asked.

"My childhood sucks," said the girl simply. "My parents are fairly wealthy...that's how they paid for the two abortions I've needed in the past three and a half years."

Tear's misted Sara's eyes. She suddenly remembered the photograph of the dead man, which was the girl's father. The words that were written on the photograph suddenly popped into Sara's head. It now dawned on Sara why the girl wrote those lyrics on the man's crotch.

"That's why you wrote what you did across you're father's photograph," said Sara.

Emily nodded (as best she could) and said, "I woke up to my father entering my bedroom one night a few years ago. From then on, he would come into my room and...and rape me. He didn't do it often, but often enough to scare the hell out of me."

Sara nodded her head in understanding. She then asked, "Did you see what happened tonight to you father?"

"Yes...and I'm not very sorry that he's dead," said Emily bitterly. "I was in my room, asleep, when my father entered my room. He pointed a knife at me and warned me not to scream. He then tied me up, taped my mouth shut, and raped me. He carelessly untied me and left my room. My mother saw him coming out of my room...she had a knife. She shoved him into their room. I heard them arguing for awhile. Then I head my dad scream in pain, so I got out of my bed and looked into their room. I saw my mother stabbing my father, so I called 911, and locked myself in my room."

"Thank you, Emily...that was very detailed," said Sara. "Um, I've got to head back to the lab...I hope you feel better."

"Sara...what's going to happen to me?" asked Emily quietly.

"You're mother is being arrested, and you – you'll be placed in foster care," said Sara. "I'm sorry."

Emily sighed and thanked her again. Sara walked out of the girl's room and into the hallway, choking back tears. She was surprised (yet comforted) when she saw Grissom waiting for her. He wrapped her arms around her and she broke down.

"She just turned 14, Gil...she's a child!" she cried. "And the people she's supposed to be able to trust let her down!"

"Shh, honey, it'll be okay," he whispered.

"No, it won't!" Sara snarled. "It's not okay that her father raped her, and it's not okay that she's had two abortions because of her father!"

"I know, hon," he whispered soothingly.

"I just, I just don't want that to happen to our child!" she muttered, placing a protective hand on her abdomen, where a very small bump was forming.

Grissom covered her hand with his large, warm one. He kissed her cheek and whispered, "I would _never_ harm our child."

"I know you wouldn't," said Sara. "But there are a lot of weird people in this world...I don't want our baby to have to go through any of the shit we come across on our job!"

"And it won't, because I'll be there to protect him or her," said Grissom firmly. "I will do anything and everything in my power to protect them...and you. I love you and our child...more than you'll ever know."

Sara's eyes welled up with tears. She smiled at Grissom and kissed his cheek.

"I knew there was a reason I loved you," she said. They stayed in a quiet embrace for a while, then Sara said, "When Em was telling me what happened, I couldn't help but thinking, 'this girl went through the same nightmarish life I did'!"

* * *

**A/N:** I promise the next chapter will start the trip down Sara's memory lane. Review if you liked it, review if you hated it. 


	3. Ch 3: How it All Began

MEMORIES:

Chapter 3 – How it All Began

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything. Kelly Clarkson in mentioned in a few chapters, so I don't own any of her songs or anything else of hers.

**Summary:** A case really hits home for Sara, so she opens up to Grissom about her childhood. Then her past comes back to haunt her when her mother is released from prison. GSR!

**Rating:** M (for the language/content, not _that_)

**A/N:** This doesn't have a beta, so all mistakes are mine. Also, this fic has some content that may not be appropriate for some people. DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT LIKE IT WHEN CHILDREN ARE ABUSED, OR IF YOU DO NOT LIKE ABORTIONS!!!

* * *

Grissom froze at her comment, and said, "What do you mean?"

Sara looked down, but Grissom gently placed his fingers under her chin, and made her look at him. He saw tears and fear in her eyes, and he hugged her to him. The tears fell, dampening his shirt. He soothingly rubbed circles on her back until she calmed down.

"Come on, honey, let's go home," he said.

He wrapped his arm around her waist, and led her to the car. He opened the door for her, and helped her in. He even buckled her seat belt for her, making her smile. He kissed her cheek before heading over to the driver's side of the car. He climbed in, started the car, and headed for their house.

He drive home was an eerie silence. Grissom tried to lighten the mood by gently taking Sara's hand in his. She looked at their joined hands and smiled a bit, but then returned to gaze out the window silently.

Grissom pulled into their driveway a few minutes later. He helped her out of the car, and had his arm around her waist as they walked up to the front porch. He opened the oak front door and let her enter first.

"Are you hungry?" he asked. "I could make you something to eat?"

"Sure," she answered quietly.

"What're you hungry for?" he asked.

"Anything," she said.

"How's lasagna sound?" he asked.

She nodded, and he got started. She silently observed him from the kitchen table. She then looked around their new house. They just moved in a few days ago. It was in a nice, quiet neighborhood. It was on 3 acres of land with a nice back yard, a Jacuzzi, and a pool. The inside was lovely as well. There were two floors (not counting the basement), five bedrooms, four bathrooms, and three showers. The house wasn't as expensive as they had expected, so they purchased it.

"Dinner's ready," said Grissom, snapping her back to reality.

"Don't you think it's kind of weird that we have dinner when normal people have breakfast?" she asked. "And we have breakfast at like six or seven o'clock at night."

He smiled and said, "Well, it's one of the perks of working night shift, I guess."

He served their food, and sat down across from Sara. They ate in a comfortable-ish silence. The only sound was forks scraping against the plates. When they were finished eating, Grissom cleared the table and put the dishes in the dishwasher.

"Sara, sweetheart, are you okay?" he asked concerned. "You don't seem...yourself."

"I'm fine," she lied, but then said, "Okay, no, I'm not."

"Would you like to talk about it?" asked Grissom, putting his arm around her shoulders.

Sara sighed, and said, "I probably should...it might help."

He nodded and led her to their couch. He sat down and Sara sat down next to him. She spooned herself against him, and he wrapped his arms around her lanky form.

She took a deep breath before beginning.

"This case really hit close to home for me," she said. "When you described the case, I instantly thought of my family. When I walked into that house and saw the crime scene, I thought I was about to lose my lunch. I couldn't stop remembering what the bedroom looked like when Mom killed Dad. I told you a little bit about my childhood, and you probably thought that was bad, didn't you?"

He nodded slowly, afraid of what he was going to hear next.

"Well, that was a spit in the ocean," said Sara grimly. "I think I'm ready to go into more detail of what happened while I was growing up. I guess it all started when I was born. I was the product of simple biology. I was an accident...my father took the liberty to tell me that when I was younger. Even though I was only about five when the abuse started, I remember it as if it were only yesterday when it happened."

_Five year old Sara sat in the living room, playing with her dolls. She then heard a car pull into the driveway. She looked out the window and saw her father getting out of the car. He walked up to the front door, and entered the house. Sara noticed a funny smell on her father's breath and clothes, but didn't know what it was. Her mother suddenly walked into the room and demanded, "Jeremy, where the hell were you? You were supposed to be home an hour and a half ago! Why do I smell alcohol on you? You better not have been at that fuckin' bar!"_

_"Leave me alone, Laura!" he shouted, his speech slightly slurred. "It's none of you're fuckin' business where I've been!"_

_Sara quietly snuck upstairs to her room. She saw her brother's door was shut, and she tried to get in. It was locked, so she knocked._

_"Michael, can I come in?" she asked._

_The door opened, revealing her seventeen year old brother. He moved aside and let her in._

_"You okay, Sar?" he asked._

_"Daddy just came home," she said._

_"I know, I heard Mom and Dad arguing," he said. "I didn't catch why they were arguing, though. Do you know?"_

_"Daddy came home late," said Sara. "I smelled a really funny smell. Mommy said it was alcohol...what's alcohol?"_

_"It's a drink that adults drink...it's illegal for kids to drink it," said Michael. "It makes adults drunk if they drink too much of it. Drunk is when adults act really stupidly...almost as if they're really tired," Michael added at his sister's curious expression._

_"Oh...well, Mommy was really mad," Sara said. "She was sayin' bad words and was shoutin', so I came up here. Can I sleep with you tonight? Please?"_

_"Sure thing, Sar," he said, ruffling his younger sister's curly hair._

_"Thank you, Michael," she said, giving her brother a kiss on the cheek._

"I remember hearing my parents yelling all night," said Sara, fresh tears in her eyes.

Grissom was listening the whole time, his heart aching for Sara. No child that young should have to hear their parents fighting like that.

"Were your parents ever physically abusive to each other?" asked Grissom. "I mean, I know you said that they were, but when did that start?"

"The physical abuse didn't start 'til I was older...when they could slap me I wouldn't be knocked unconscious," said Sara quietly. "That kind of abuse didn't start for another few years. They just...yelled a lot. Um, do you think we could stop here for now? I know I said I'd tell you everything..."

"It's okay, Sara," said Grissom. "If you want, we can pick this conversation up tomorrow, or something. We can talk a little bit every day, if you want."

"Okay," said Sara, nodding.

"Come on, let's go to bed, sweetheart," said Grissom.

The couple walked into the bedroom, and crawled into bed. Sara fell asleep in Grissom's arms, thankful that he was there to comfort her, because her dreams were plagued with images of Emily, and of her childhood.

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**A/N:** Thank you for all the reviews so far. Please leave a review to tell me what you thought of it.


	4. Ch 4: Physical Abuse

MEMORIES:

Chapter 4 – Physical Abuse

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything. Kelly Clarkson in mentioned in a few chapters, so I don't own any of her songs or anything else of hers.

**Summary:** A case really hits home for Sara, and she opens up to Grissom about her childhood. Then her past comes back to haunt her when her mother is released from prison. GSR!

**Rating:** M (for the language/content, not _that_)

**A/N:** This doesn't have a beta, so all mistakes are mine. Also, this fic has some content that may not be appropriate for some people. DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT LIKE IT WHEN CHILDREN ARE ABUSED, OR IF YOU DO NOT LIKE ABORTIONS!!!

* * *

Sara woke up in Grissom's arms the following day. He was sleeping peacefully, so she watched him sleep. She watched the steady rise and fall of his bare chest. She gently ran her fingers up and down his bare arm. She smiled as he turned toward the touch and maneuvered Sara closer to him. She let out a soft sigh and turned over onto her back. She rested her hand protectively over her stomach, not believing that there was an actual human being growing inside there. What was even more mind-boggling to her was the fact that she had actually gotten the man that was presently lying beside her to come out of his shell and let her in. She smiled as she thought of all of the precious moments they had shared together. 

Suddenly, a warmer, larger hand covered her smaller one. She looked over and was met with bright blue eyes. She smiled as he leaned over and gently kissed her forehead.

"How'd you sleep, honey?" Grissom asked, his voice thick from sleep.

"Pretty good," she responded.

"That's good," he said.

She sighed and said, "I really don't feel like going into work today. Not after the case we just had."

"Oh, sorry, I forgot to tell you," said Grissom. "You've got vacation for the next week and a half, and so do I."

"Won't it be suspicious if we're both off at the same time for the same amount of time?" asked Sara.

"No, everyone thinks that I'm in Arizona visiting my mother," said Grissom.

Sara smiled and said, "I'm glad you're the supervisor."

Grissom kissed her cheek and asked, "Are you hungry? I could make some pancakes, or something."

"Sure...I'm just gonna get a shower really quickly," said Sara, heading for the bathroom.

Grissom made the breakfast while Sara freshened up with a shower. They then both ate in a comfortable silence, enjoying each other's company. Afterward, when the dishes were cleaned up, Sara sat down on the couch and curled up into a ball.

"Gil, can I continue my childhood tale?" she asked.

"Only if you're ready," said Grissom. "I don't want to pressure you into something you don't want to do."

"I, I want to talk about it...it will help me feel better," she said. "I feel as though a weight is weighing me down, because I've never talked about my childhood with anybody. Well, after I talked to you yesterday, I felt some of that weight lift."

She took a deep breath and began.

"As I said yesterday, my parents would emotionally abuse me until I was older," said Sara.

"What about your brother?" asked Grissom.

"Oh, that son of a bitch," said Sara angrily. "He always promised me that he'd take me away with him when he turned eighteen. Well, he turned eighteen, and he left...leaving me behind to suffer the wrath of my parents. I just thought he just left for a little bit...that he'd be back for me. He never came back."

"I'm sorry," said Grissom.

"Don't apologize for him," she snarled, but then immediately regretted it as she saw the hurt in his eyes. "Gil, I'm sorry...I shouldn't have snapped at you."

He smiled at her and nodded at her to continue.

"Well, my parents abused each other frequently...especially since they were both drinking," said Sara. "Then they both ganged up on my. Fair match, huh...two forty-something year olds against a seven year old?"

_Seven year old Sara was hiding in her room because she just heard her father's car pull into the driveway. She knew that he was at the bar because he was two hours late. He opened the front door and walked into the house._

_Sara heard her mother join him in the living room, bugging him about why he was late._

_"Just leave me the fuck alone!" screamed her father._

_Sara's heart thundered in her chest as she heard her father come up the stairs. He walked closer to her room, and stopped outside of it. Tears started to fill Sara's eyes. She quickly blinked them back, knowing that she'd get an even worse beating if her father saw her crying. He opened the door and shouted, "Why are you up here?"_

_"I-I was r-reading," she stammered, "sir," she added quickly._

_"Reading?!" he roared. "Since when did reading do the dishes? Since when did reading clean the house? Since when did reading clean the yard? Since when did reading put food on the table?"_

_"N-Never, sir," she answered quietly. "I'll go and do my chores now."_

_"I'm not done with you, missy!" he shouted, yanking her back by her fragile arm._

_They both heard a pop, and he instantly let go. Tears filled Sara's eyes as pain shot through her arm. Sara's father shoved her out the door and said, "Do your chores, then we'll go to the emergency room. If they ask, tell them you tripped and fell down the stairs. Got it?"_

_"Yes sir," said Sara, cradling her injured arm._

_She did the dishes with one hand, since she could move her arm with excruciating pain. When she did the dishes, fed the cat, and took out the trash, Sara's mother and father ushered her into the truck. She cradled her arm the whole way there._

_She got to the doctor, and the doctor told her that her shoulder was dislocated. The doctor popped her shoulder in place. Sara bit her lip until it bled to stop herself from screaming._

_"There, it's back in place," said the doctor gently. "You should refrain from moving it for four weeks. How did you get this injury anyway?"_

_Sara immediately looked at the floor, and muttered, "Tripped."_

_The doctor looked unconvinced, but nodded anyway. The doctor explained everything to Sara's parents, and they then took her home._

_The four weeks where she didn't have to do anything were heaven. Sara stayed in her room most of the time and didn't have to do any chores. Then the four weeks were up, and the doctor gave her the okay to go back to her normal life._

_"I assume you've been bored to tears and can't wait to get back to your normal life," said the doctor with a smile. "Just, be more careful."_

_Sara wanted to cry and scream, "No, my normal life's a living hell! And this injury wasn't my fault! Take me away from my parents, please!" But she just nodded and walked back out to her parents. They drove her home, and made her do the chores. Sara thought that maybe her parents grew out of their abusive state...boy, was she wrong._

_Sara got the worst beating to make up for the four week's worth that she missed. Sara was forced to lie to everyone at school that she was very clumsy and she always got hurt playing sports. This, of course, was a lie...two lies, in fact. Sara was very well-balance. She never tripped of fell, even when her parents were beating the living shit out of her. The second lie was about the sports. Sara played no sports whatsoever, even though she was athletically gifted._

_One night, Sara came home to the bad stench of alcohol. Her father was sitting on the couch, nursing a bottle of Scotch. She timidly walked in and said, "Hi Daddy."_

_"Don't talk to me, you bitch!" he snapped, back-handing her across the face._

_Sara closed her eyes to stop the tears from forming. She took a deep breath and headed for the kitchen. He father stopped her (without popping her shoulder out) and said, "I'm not done with you! I got fired, and it's all your fault!"_

_Sara tried to work out how exactly it was her fault, but didn't get real far._

Sara stopped her story, tears in her eyes. Grissom waited expectantly for her to continue, but she didn't. He waited and asked, "Um, then what?"

"I think his fist connected with my forehead," she said, furrowing her brows. "I woke up in the hospital a week later. He told the doctors that I tripped over the cat and smacked my head on the table. I know that's not what happened because, one, I would've remembered the fall, and, two, the cat was at the vet's office. That lying son of a bitch!"

Her voice caught in her throat as fresh tears welled up. Grissom wrapped his arms around her and gently rocked her. She wiped her eyes and pointed to her left temple where a large scar was visible.

"This is from that "accident"," she said. "He punched with so much velocity that he broke skin!"

Suddenly, Sara stopped. Her hand flew towards her stomach. She felt a rippling sensation under her fingers, and realized that she felt her baby move for the first time. Grissom, petrified, asked, "What happened?"

"The baby...the baby moved!" she whispered excitedly.

Grissom placed his hand where hers just vacated. He felt a small ripple and smiled.

"Wow, I forgot what that felt like," she said without thinking.

She froze, praying that Grissom wasn't paying attention. He was. He slowly turned towards her and said, "Come again?"

"Gil...this isn't my first time pregnant, it's my second," she confessed quietly. "My first pregnancy happened when I was twelve."

* * *

**A/N:** Ooh, how's that for some suspense? Please review if you liked it or hated it. Also, the next chapter deals with Sara's baby, so I would appreciate it if you could review to suggest the gender and/or name of the baby. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far. 


	5. Ch 5: Her Little Girl

MEMORIES:

Chapter 5 – Her Little Girl

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything. Kelly Clarkson in mentioned in a few chapters, so I don't own any of her songs or anything else of hers.

**Summary:** A case really hits home for Sara, and she opens up to Grissom about her childhood. Then her past comes back to haunt her when her mother is released from prison. GSR!

**Rating:** M (for the language/content, not _that_)

**A/N:** This doesn't have a beta, so all mistakes are mine. This fic has some content that may not be appropriate for some people. DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT LIKE IT WHEN CHILDREN ARE ABUSED, OR IF YOU DO NOT LIKE ABORTIONS!!! ALSO, THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS A PREGNANT TWELVE YEAR OLD! DO NOT READ IF THIS ALSO DISTURBS YOU!!!

* * *

Sara was suddenly very interested in the floor. She avoided Grissom's eyes and wrapped her arms protectively around her. Grissom stared at her, open-mouthed. She quickly stood up and left the room. However, she returned a few seconds later with a book. She sat back down and opened it. Grissom saw a picture of a newborn baby girl staring back at him with big, chocolaty brown eyes. He saw the baby's name, her date of birth, time of birth, weight, and length.

"Christina Abigail Sidle," he murmured, "born May 26th, 1983 at four thirty-six in the morning, seven pounds, nine ounces, twenty and three-fourths inches long...Sara, she's gorgeous."

Sara smiled through her tears and gently touched the photograph.

"I know," she whispered. "I was in labor with her for, God, it seemed like forever. Let's see, I went into the hospital in active labor at one in the morning..."

"So you were in labor for three and a half hours?" asked Grissom, confused.

"Oh, sorry, I went in at one in the morning, May _25th_," she said. "So that would make it about twenty-seven hours. Damn, it was the most painful twenty-seven hours of my life! I was alone throughout the whole damn thing! Life was so un-fuckin'-fair!"

"Why, what happened?" asked Grissom.

_Nine month pregnant, twelve year old Sara woke up to a great amount of fluid. Her heart started hammering in her chest as she realized that she was in labor. There was now going back now. She got up from the cardboard box that she'd been calling home for about a month. Her father kicked her out for no apparent reason one night. Her mother had joined Alcoholics Anonymous, and was doing very well. She was cleaner, her eyes weren't glazed over anymore...but she was still blind when it came to her husband. Laura was very supportive of Sara all throughout her pregnancy, but didn't fight with her husband when he kicked her out._

_Anyway, her father had been drinking, so Sara reasoned that he would have forgotten about chucking her out by the next day. Nope. She walked back home, eight months pregnant, mind you, but he told her that she couldn't come home unless she got rid of the baby growing inside of her._

_"But, I can't get rid of it yet!" Sara had shouted. "I can't get rid of it until it's born! Even then, I'm not getting rid of it! Anyway, it's all your fuckin' fault that got me in this fuckin' mess! I HATE YOU!"_

_"Jeremy, she's pregnant, you can't just kick her out!" she argued._

_"I don't care!" he shouted, smacking his wife. "I won't have a slut of a daughter living under my roof. She is unwelcome here!"_

_Laura gave her daughter an apologetic smile before walking away. The door slammed shut in her face, and Sara stormed off, tears falling down her cheeks._

_Her mother had visited Sara in the alleyway where Sara called home. Sara was grateful that her mother snuck her food, but was still astonished that she would make her pregnant daughter sleep out on the streets._

_Now, a month later, Sara was scared shitless for herself and for her baby. She had to get to a hospital, but she had no means of getting to one._

_"Oh, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!" she hissed through a contraction._

_She walked out to the street, and held up her thumb, hoping – no, praying – that someone would drive her to the hospital. She doubled over in pain, and a truck stopped. A middle-aged woman jumped out of the truck and rushed over to Sara._

_"Honey, are you okay?"_

_"Hospital, please," gasped Sara, hugging her tummy._

_"Oh my God, sweetie, hop in," said the woman._

_The woman wrapped her arm around Sara's shoulder and helped her in the truck. The woman started for the hospital._

_"Sweetie, what happened to you?" the woman asked on the way there._

_"Can we please...not talk about it?" asked Sara._

_"Sure, honey, just relax," she said soothingly. "What's you're name, hon?"_

_"Sara," she said, gritting her teeth._

_They arrived at the hospital a few minutes later, and they took Sara to a delivery room. Doctors swarmed around her and started checking her and hooked her up to machines. They asked her if she wanted an epidural, and Sara declined. That was the stupidest mistake of her lifetime._

_Twenty-four hours later, Sara was screaming that she wanted that epidural._

_"Sorry, hon, you're ten centimeters dilated...you gotta start pushing," said the doctor._

_After an hour and a half of pushing, Sara was exhausted and crying openly now._

_"Okay, push...push, push, push," she said. "Great, you're doing great, Sara. One more, you're almost done, sweetie."_

_"I can't," she moaned. "God, it hurts!"_

_"I can understand that," said the doctor sympathetically. "You _are_ only twelve."_

_Sara bore down and pushed with what strength she had left. Sara screamed out in pain. Suddenly, a loud wail echoed her scream._

_"It's a girl!" the doctor exclaimed, placing the bloody, wriggling infant on Sara's chest._

_Sara smiled at her new daughter and sighed in relief. The doctor gently took the baby, cut the umbilical cord, cleaned off the baby, and took her finger-and-footprints. She wrapped the baby in a soft, pink blanket and handed her to Sara. Sara held her with immense care and kissed her gently._

_A young, female nurse walked in and smiled at the new mother._

_"Hey, Sara, there's a visitor for you," said the nurse. "Are you up for it?"_

_"Sure," she answered, puzzled by who would be there to see her, and who would even _know_ she was there._

_The door opened and the middle-aged woman walked in. She smiled brightly at Sara and said, "Hey, how are you, Sara?"_

_"Better than I was twenty-some hours ago," said Sara, smiling slightly. "Thank you for driving me here."_

_"No problem, kiddo," she said. "She's a cutie."_

_Sara's gaze dropped to her daughter._

_"Thank you," said Sara. "May I ask what your name is?"_

_"Yes, you may...it's Christina Abigail Fetter," said the woman. "So, have you decided on a name for her?"_

_"I was thinking of Christina Abigail Sidle," said Sara. "If you don't mind, of course."_

_"Go ahead, sweetie," she said. "Do you have somewhere to go? Someone to call?"_

_"Um, sort of," said Sara, tears forming in her eyes._

_Sara told Mrs. Fetter about what happened._

_"I think I can call my mom," said Sara. "I'm pretty sure she'll pick me up."_

_"If she doesn't, you call me, okay?" said Mrs. Fetter, scribbling her phone number down on a piece of paper_

_"Okay, thank you, Mrs. Fetter," said Sara, taking the paper._

_Mrs. Fetter left and Sara was left alone with her baby girl, who was sleeping soundlessly. The nurse showed up to help Sara when Christina started whimpering._

_"She's probably hungry," said the nurse._

_The nurse showed Sara how to breast-feed little Christina. Afterwards, Christina was wheeled to the nursery so Sara could sleep. When she woke up, she asked to call her mother._

_Sara dialed her home phone number. Luckily, her mother answered the phone._

_"Hi, Mom," Sara said nervously._

_"Sara, honey, where are you?" she asked, worriedly._

_"The hospital..."_

_"The hospital, sweetie, are you okay?" she asked._

_"Yeah...I called to ask if you wanted to drop by to see your granddaughter...and to see if I could come home," said Sara quietly._

_"Granddaughter? You had the baby? It's a girl? Sweetheart, that's great! Where are you?" Laura asked, all in one breath._

_"Whoa, Mom, chill," said Sara. "I'm in the hospital that's about fifteen minutes away from home, room 351."_

_"I'm so proud of you, honey!" said Laura. "I'll be there in a few minutes."_

_Sara hung up the phone and looked down at her little girl. There was an almost angelic glow coming from her face. Sara smiled and said aloud, "Maybe I _can_ do this."_

Tears were running down Sara's cheeks as she told the story. She was still staring at the photograph of her baby girl. A teardrop fell on the photograph. Sara gently wiped it off the photo, and Grissom wiped the tears off her cheeks. Grissom pulled her to him and kissed the top of her head lightly.

"May I ask what happened to Christina?" asked Grissom.

"She's an angel," she whispered.

Grissom looked very confused, so Sara flipped over the photograph and there were two dates.

_May 26, 1983 – October 26, 1983

* * *

_

**A/N:** Please let me know what you thought. I won't be offended, please be honest. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far!


	6. Ch 6: EverythingGone

MEMORIES:

Chapter 6: Everything...Gone

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything. Kelly Clarkson in mentioned in a few chapters, so I don't own any of her songs or anything else of hers.

**Summary:** A case really hits home for Sara, and she opens up to Grissom about her childhood. Then her past comes back to haunt her when her mother is released from prison. GSR!

**Rating:** M (for the language/content, not _that_)

**A/N:** This doesn't have a beta, so all mistakes are mine. Also, this fic has some content that may not be appropriate for some people. DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT LIKE IT WHEN CHILDREN ARE ABUSED, OR IF YOU DO NOT LIKE ABORTIONS!!!

* * *

Grissom sat there, thunderstruck. Sara was sobbing uncontrollably. Grissom hugged her to him and whispered, "Oh my God, Sara...I didn't know. I'm sorry, sweetheart." 

"No one knew...when anyone asked, I always told them she accidentally choked on something," she whispered. "What kind of person am I? Protecting them, saying that it wasn't their fault?"

"Whose fault?"

"My parents!" she cried. "Because of them, I had to bury two family members!"

_"Sara, she's gorgeous!" Laura Sidle gushed as she saw her new granddaughter._

_Sara, still fairly tired, sat there with a proud smile on her face. She carefully watched her mother handle Christina gently._

_"So, can I come home?" Sara asked quietly. "Please?"_

_"I'll bring you home when you get released...somehow I'll persuade your father into letting you stay," said Laura. "Both of you stay."_

_"Thanks, Mom," said Sara._

_Sara and Christina were released three days later with a clean bill of health. Laura had picked up supplies, including a car seat, a crib, diapers, baby formula, baby wipes, blankets, baby girl clothing, etc. for Christina. Sara was thankful for that, because she was completely broke. Sara watched her little girl in the backseat the whole way home._

_Laura pulled into the driveway, and Sara got a sickly feeling in her stomach. She gently took Christina from her car seat and cradled her closely. Laura had her arm around Sara's shoulders as they walked up the sidewalk. Laura opened the door and led Sara inside. Sara was alert for any signs of her father. She looked in the living room and froze as she saw him sitting in the recliner, a beer in his hand, watching TV._

_"Go into your room, honey," Laura instructed quietly, "and lock your door...Christina's things are in there awhile."_

_"Does Dad know I'm staying here?" Sara whispered._

_"Yes, I do!" he growled. "Get your ass up to your room! Stay out of my sight, and keep IT out of my sight!"_

_Sara's eyes filled with tears when her father called her daughter (and his daughter as well, too) and 'it'. Sara walked upstairs, careful not to irk her father even more. After locking her door, she set Christina in her crib and sat down, cross-legged, on her bed. Sara leaned against her pillow and grabbed a teddy bear off of the floor. She hugged it to her and cried._

_The next few months went fairly well. Sara's heart would always hammer in her chest when Christina would start to cry, for fear that her father would finally snap. However, he never did. Sara knew her mother probably kept him calm._

_One day, on October 26th, Christina finally put him to the test. The infant had gotten Colic, and was crying profusely. Sara was in her room, walking around with her little girl. Sara had dark circles under her tear-filled eyes._

_"Shh, baby, it's okay," she whispered, pleading with her little girl to stop crying. "Please calm down, sweetie."_

_Unfortunately, Sara's mother wasn't there to keep her husband under control. Sara nearly fainted as she heard her father shout that he had had enough. She heard him thunder up the stairs and knocked down Sara's locked door. He walked up to Sara and yanked Christina out of her arms, making the baby wail even louder._

_"Five hours!" he snarled. "Five hours I've put up with this brat screaming! I'm fuckin' tired of it! I'll get her to shut up!"_

_"No, Daddy, please!" Sara cried._

_But he was having none of it. He took his large hand and placed it over Christina's nose and mouth. Ignoring Sara's screams and pleas to stop, he held his hand firmly over the baby's face. Christina's wails were muffled, and she fell silent a few minutes later. Sara's father roughly shoved the still infant into Sara's arms._

_She quickly checked her daughter over and noted with horror that she wasn't breathing. Desperately, Sara tried to get her daughter breathing again._

_"Come on, sweetheart, breathe..._please_!" she whispered, tears falling._

_Sara noticed that her daughter was tinted blue. She saw her father leaving, and she chucked the closest thing at him...an encyclopedia she checked out of the library._

_He grunted and turned around. He walked fiercely up to her and slapped her across the face. Sara stood her ground and punched her father. He threw her to the ground. She heard something crack, and figured she broke a few ribs, seeing as her chest hurt when she breathed._

_Sara heard the front door open and she called out to her mother. Sara gingerly crawled away from her father's raining blows. She cried out, and continued trying to get Christina breathing, although she knew it was useless. She heard her mother sprint up the stairs and she saw he appear in the doorway._

_"Jeremy, STOP!" she screamed._

_"Let me finish!" he snapped, continuing to abuse his daughter._

_Laura apparently saw Christina's lifeless body on the ground, because she screamed. Full of rage, she pulled her husband off of Sara. _

_Laura demanded, "What the hell did you do? I leave you here for an hour and I come back to you killing your daughter."_

_"She's not dead yet!" he snapped._

_"Sara's not, but look at the infant lying beside her!" she snapped._

_He froze and finally realized what he was doing. Laura, however, was still pissed, for she whipped out a knife. She brandished it at her husband, who backed away fearfully._

_"Laura, I didn't mean it," he said._

_"You can't give back the life you took!" she snapped coldly._

_Suddenly, the knife plunged into Jeremy's heart. Sara screamed as her mother continuously drove the knife into her husband's chest. Sara curled up, her bones broken, her body bruised, with her dead daughter._

_Within a few minutes, Sara heard cop cars. Laura was on her knees, holding a bloody knife. Her now-deceased husband had blood pooling around him. Sara watched policemen charge into the room. They froze at the scene that was displayed before them. One cop (to Sara, he looked like a young rookie) ran from the room. Sara heard him throw up in the toilet. A policewoman walked up to Sara and said, "Sweetie, what happened?"_

_Sara kept her mouth shut, and cradled her daughter's lifeless body closer. The woman saw the dead infant and gasped._

_"What happened to her? Who is she?"_

_Sara lied and murmured, "My sister."_

_"Alright, sweetheart, come with me," said the officer gently. "We need to get you checked out."_

_Sara followed, still cradling her dead "sister". She finally gave up the infant's body so she could get checked out. Neighbors were gathering outside and everyone was looking at Sara as if she would break. When they got her to the hospital to repair her busted bones, Sara finally let out the tears she had been keeping locked up inside of her._

Sara was sobbing on Grissom's shoulder. He had his arm wrapped around her and was fighting back the tears in his eyes.

"Sweetheart, I'm sorry," he murmured.

"Everything...gone," she whispered. "I lost my whole family within a matter of ten minutes."

* * *

**A/N:** I am SO sorry for the long wait. My uncle and cousin came to visit and I've been visiting with them for the past few weeks; I had a softball tournament last weekend; and school sucks! We're approaching finals, so teachers are going overboard and assigning stupid crap. I had to get this posted for y'all, hope you liked it. Reviews are always nice. I have softball tournaments the next 2 weekends, so I won't update till after them. Wish me luck! 


	7. Ch 7: She's Back

MEMORIES:

Chapter 7: She's Back

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything. Kelly Clarkson in mentioned in a few chapters, so I don't own any of her songs or anything else of hers.

**Summary:** A case really hits home for Sara, and she opens up to Grissom about her childhood. Then her past comes back to haunt her when her mother is released from prison. GSR!

**Rating:** M (for the language/content, not _that_)

**A/N:** This doesn't have a beta, so all mistakes are mine. Also, this fic has some content that may not be appropriate for some people. DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT LIKE IT WHEN CHILDREN ARE ABUSED, OR IF YOU DO NOT LIKE ABORTIONS!!!

**A/N 2:**Sorry it took me while to update. It's been hectic with all my softball tournaments. Oh yeah, we won the tournament!:)

* * *

Grissom sat there, horrified. Tears were in his eyes as Sara relived her childhood memory. He watched her breakdown for what seemed like the thousandth time within a few days. He wrapped his arms around her as she cried. He placed his hand on her stomach and vowed to the unborn child that he would do everything in his power to protect it. 

"I'm sorry...I'm such a mess right now," she said, wiping her eyes. "I probably look like shit."

"You're beautiful," he said instantly. "And you're not a mess...well you sort of are, but I honestly don't blame you. I would be severely disturbed if you weren't a mess right now."

She sighed and relaxed in his comforting arms. She shut her eyes for a minute and instantly fell asleep. Grissom, having noticed this, gently picked her up and carried her to their bedroom. He set her down under the covers and kissed her forehead gently. He was about to leave the room when she whispered, "Please don't leave me."

Grissom was surprised but how much terror was in her voice. He walked back over and got in bed with her. She quickly moved towards him and placed her head on his shoulder. He draped his arm over her waist and pulled her close. She relaxed a bit, and fell asleep. She awoke, screaming, about an hour and a half later. Grissom jolted awake and sat up in bed. He rubbed her back soothingly, trying to calm her down. Sara moved over to him and threw herself in his arms. He wrapped his arms around her and she nestled her head under his jaw.

"Make it stop," she pleaded.

"Make what stop?" he asked.

"The nightmares," she said quietly. "I lied to you when I told you I had insomnia all those years ago. The reason I don't sleep is because every time I close my eyes, I see my father raping me, I see my father beating me, I see my father killing Christina, I see my mother killing my dad...I see my daughter's lifeless eyes staring at me as though it was my fault."

"It wasn't your fault," he said firmly. "You didn't do anything wrong. The people you were supposed to be able to trust the most betrayed you."

"I can't erase those images from my head!" she cried. "I've tried _so hard_ to forget but I can't! For 24 years, those images have plagued my dreams...they won't stop."

"Sweetheart, they won't just go away," he said gently. "But if you focus on all of the positives in life, maybe the nightmares will lessen."

"Positives...like what?" she asked.

"Our relationship, our baby, our first kiss, me," he said, ticking them off on his fingers.

She flashed him a small smile and kissed him.

"Thank you," she said.

"Well, do you want to get up now or just lay her for a few more minutes?" he asked.

"Hold me," she whispered.

He complied, and they both lay back down. He hugged her to him and didn't let go...

...Until the phone rang. Sara sighed and reached over to grab the phone.

"Hello...this is she," she said.

She listened for awhile, and then turned white. She instinctively curled up and said in an extremely shaky voice, "Yes, thank you...bye."

"Honey, what's wrong?" Grissom asked, concerned.

"She-she's out of jail...they released her," she whispered burying her face in her hands.

"Released who?"

"My mother...she's out of jail!" Sara cried fearfully. "How could they release her? Oh God, she's gonna find me and kill me...she blamed me for everything!"

_The police officers dragged Laura Sidle to the police cruiser. They shoved her in and drove her to the station, where they questioned her. She insisted she did it in self defense, then she pleaded guilty, and then she said that she was innocent. The police then went to talk to Sara in the hospital._

_"Sara...could you tell me what happened last night?" asked that female officer._

_"My mother was out...it was just me, my father, and my d – uh, my sister at home," Sara started. "My sister, Christina, had Colic and had been crying for hours. Dad snapped and decided that he would shut her up. He placed his hand over Christina's nose and mouth until she stopped crying...I knew she was dead the moment she stopped crying. He got up and started to leave the room, but I was so upset that I threw a book at him. He turned around and headed towards me. He started hitting me...a lot, and I screamed out for help. My mother, who had just gotten home, heard me and ran upstairs. She saw my father beating me, and saw Christina on the floor dead...so she pulled out a knife and started towards him. He backed away and told her he was sorry and told her to get away from him...but she stabbed him. He pleaded for her to stop...but she kept going. She stabbed him until he was on the ground, dead."_

_"Thank you, Sara...that was very helpful," said the officer. "I hope you start feeling better."_

_"Thank you," Sara said quietly._

_Sara lay there, replaying that whole night over and over again in her mind._

_**SEVERAL MONTHS LATER**_

_Sara – now thirteen years old – timidly walked into the courtroom. She sat down with a Child Services worker. She was there to hear the verdict of her mother's trial and she was acting as an eyewitness. She saw her mother, but was shocked at the sight she saw. Laura's brown eyes were dull and seemingly life-less, her hair was greasy and tangled, her skin was ashen, and she looked about ready to kill someone else. She looked over at Sara and narrowed her eyes maliciously at the thirteen year old child._

_Sara quickly looked away and sat down. She watched quietly as her mother was faced with numerous questions (none of which she answered in detail) and multiple neighbors were asked to tell the jury what they heard. They all basically said the same thing: that they heard the baby crying for awhile, a girl (Sara) screaming in anguish and then in pain, a woman screaming at a man, a man was yelling for someone to stop, and then everything was quiet._

_Then Sara was asked to go on the stand. She vowed to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth before she sat down._

_"Sara, did your father kill your baby sister?" asked that same female cop._

_Sara took a deep breath and – since she vowed to tell the truth – answered, "No."_

_"Sara, may I remind you that you must tell the truth?" asked the female cop._

_"I know...Christina wasn't my sister," said Sara. "She was my daughter."_

_The court room as a whole seemed to gasp. Tears filled Sara's eyes as she told everyone what her father did to her. She then told everyone what happened the night her father died. When she finished, she snuck a look at her mother. Laura sneered at Sara and glared threateningly at her. Sara bowed her head and stared at her hands which were folded in her lap._

_She got down off the stand and went to sit back down._

_"Good job, hon," whispered the Child Services worker._

_Sara stared at the floor the rest of the trial. She only looked up when the judge asked if the jury if they reached a verdict._

_"We have, your Honor," said one of them. "We the Jury find Laura Sidle...guilty."_

_Sara sighed in relieve that her mother would pay for what she did, but she was also sad that she lost her only remaining family member. The Child Services worker gently touched Sara's shoulder and said, "It's time to go."_

_Sara stood up and walked by her mother. When she passed, Laura grabbed Sara. Sara tried to jump back but her mother had a strong grip on her._

_"You lying sack of shit!" she screamed. "Look what you have done! They're sending me away! But remember this...when I get out, I will find you! You'll be sorry!"_

_Police officers rushed over and pulled Laura off of Sara. Sara, visibly shaken, quickly walked out of the courtroom._

"She's never going to forgive me!" screamed Sara, starting to hyperventilate.

"Sara, just calm down," said Grissom. "Please, honey...for the baby!"

But it was too late. Sara cried out and gripped her abdomen. She turned pale and said, "It hurts, Gil."

"Okay, honey, we've got to get you to the hospital," he said, his heart hammering.

He helped her stand up, and swore as he saw a bright red smear of blood on the bed sheets.

* * *

**A/N:** Ooh, I'm always mad about cliffhangers, and yet I leave one. Oh well. Please let me know what you thought. Thank you for all those who have reviewed previously. 


	8. Ch 8: Everything's Okay

MEMORIES

Chapter 8: Everything's Okay

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything. Kelly Clarkson in mentioned in a few chapters, so I don't own any of her songs or anything else of hers.

**Summary:** A case really hits home for Sara, and she opens up to Grissom about her childhood. Then her past comes back to haunt her when her mother is released from prison. GSR!

**Rating:** M (for the language/content, not _that_)

**A/N:** This doesn't have a beta, so all mistakes are mine. Also, this fic has some content that may not be appropriate for some people. DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT LIKE IT WHEN CHILDREN ARE ABUSED, OR IF YOU DO NOT LIKE ABORTIONS!!!

* * *

Grissom got the phone and called 911 as he took Sara's shaking hand in his. He whispered to her, "Everything's going to be okay, sweetheart...just relax."

"911, what is your emergency?" asked the operator.

"My name is Gil Grissom and my girlfriend is bleeding profusely from her, uh, private areas," said Grissom. "She's pregnant and I'm very concerned if it is a...miscarriage."

"Okay, we will dispatch an ambulance," she said. "Please tell me your address."

He told her the information. The operator said, "Just try to stay calm sir, the ambulance is on their way. Try and make your girlfriend as comfortable as possible and make sure she stays calm as well."

"Thank you ma'am," he said before hanging up.

He turned to Sara and gently stroked her knuckles. He hugged her to him when she started crying. He planted multiple kisses in her hair and stroked soothing circles on her back.

The ambulance arrived several minutes later and they loaded her in. Grissom hopped in with her before they sped off towards the hospital. Sara grimaced in pain and hugged her abdomen. She was so pale, and had a slight temperature.

"Gil, I'm scared," she whispered.

"Me too, sweetheart," he said. "But I'm right here for you...don't ever forget that."

They arrived at the hospital several minutes later, and Sara was rushed to the maternity ward. The doctor came in and gave her an IV, and then called an obstetrician. Grissom went into the room with her and held her hand the whole time. He caressed her hand and repeated over and over again that everything would be okay. The obstetrician came in and the doctor said, "She's got vaginal bleeding, cramping, higher-than-normal blood pressure, and a slight temperature. She's also about 22 weeks pregnant, so my educated guess, supported by these symptoms, is a miscarriage...a late-term miscarriage."

Grissom felt Sara tense up. He looked down at her and he saw the fear in her eyes. He kissed her forehead gently and flashed her a comforting smile. He turned back to the two doctors and the obstetrician told the couple, "There's almost no chance that this baby is still alive. We should probably do a D&C so you don't get an infection."

Grissom heard Sara moan, "No," and tears welled up in her eyes. He kissed her hand and said fiercely, "_Almost_ no chance. That doesn't mean the baby _is_ dead, for sure. I want an ultrasound done."

"But, Mr. Grissom..."

"I don't want to hear it!" he snapped. "I'm not letting you terminate the baby until an ultrasound is done, and that's final!"

The two doctors looked at each other and sighed. They nodded and the obstetrician went to get the equipment for an ultrasound. Grissom looked at Sara and she said, "Thank you, Gil...I always knew there was a stubborn side to you."

"This baby is just as important to me as it is to you," he said with a small smile. "I won't let them get rid of it if it's not gone yet."

The obstetrician came back five minutes later with the equipment. She maneuvered Sara's hospital gown so that her belly was visible.

"This may be a little cold," said the obstetrician as she squirted some clear gel onto Sara's stomach.

Sara said nothing, even though it was cold. The obstetrician rubbed the gel over Sara's stomach and switched on the monitor. The obstetrician looked at the monitor for a few minutes and looked up at the couple.

"Good call, Mr. Grissom," said the obstetrician, smiling.

She turned the screen towards the couple and said, "There's your baby...and there's its heart rate."

Sara gripped Grissom's hand tightly and tears filled her eyes as she saw the tiny figure of her baby on the monitor. Grissom kissed her hand repeatedly, thanking the powers above that the baby was okay.

The obstetrician gave Sara some paper towels to clean the gel off of her abdomen. As she wiped off the gel, she started crying. Grissom, slightly alarmed, rushed over to her.

"Honey, what's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing...I'm just, I don't know," she said, sniffling. "I was so scared that I had lost our baby. If I had, God only knows what I would've done. I don't think I would have ever forgiven myself if I lost our baby."

"But I would have," he said. "I would still love you with all my heart."

The doctor came in and said, "Okay, Ms. Sidle, we believe that you just have a minor infection on your vagina. We need to run a few tests to make sure."

Sara nodded, and they proceeded with their tests. They got the results about an hour later, and they prescribed an antibiotic to get rid of the infection. They also told her she could not have sexual intercourse for at least a month. She signed her release papers, and Grissom took her home.

Since the doctor told her to take it easy the next few days, Grissom sent her straight to bed. He laid down next to her, and she spooned up against her.

"Better?" he asked.

She smiled and responded, "Yes, thank you."

She sighed and Grissom asked her, "Are you okay?"

"Even though was – and still am – scared shitless...I'm relieved that the baby is okay," she said, gently laying a hand on her abdomen.

Grissom covered her hand with his and gave it a gently squeeze. He smiled and wrapped his arms around her small frame. He kissed her hair and murmured, "Me too."

* * *

**A/N:** So, are you happy I didn't kill their baby? Please review to let me know what you thought.


	9. Ch 9: Happy Birthday

MEMORIES:

Chapter 9: Happy Birthday

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything. Kelly Clarkson in mentioned in a few chapters, so I don't own any of her songs or anything else of hers.

**Summary:** A case really hits home for Sara, and she opens up to Grissom about her childhood. Then her past comes back to haunt her when her mother is released from prison. GSR!

**Rating:** M (for the language/content, not _that_)

**A/N:** This doesn't have a beta, so all mistakes are mine. Also, this fic has some content that may not be appropriate for some people. DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT LIKE IT WHEN CHILDREN ARE ABUSED!!!

* * *

Several months passed by soundly. Sara had not had any more complications, nor had she had any contact with her mother. She was almost eight months pregnant, and was counting down the days until her baby was due. They both decided that they wanted to know the gender ahead of time, and they found out that they're expecting a baby girl. After much thought, and disagreements, they decided on a name: Madison Elizabeth Grissom.

Sara was ordered to work in the lab until the baby was born to avoid any situations that may cause her to get stressed out. She wasn't too happy about it when Grissom first told her, but she agreed when Grissom told her to do it for their baby.

Sara was not looking forward to her birthday, which was tomorrow.

Grissom, on the other hand, was getting ready for Sara's 35th birthday. While she wasn't too thrilled about it, he was. He bought her a birthday cake and got her a present.

Sara's birthday arrived, and Grissom was really excited about it...more excited than usual.

"Happy birthday, sweetheart," he whispered, kissing her cheek as she woke up.

"Thanks," she muttered sleepily.

"How are you?" he asked.

She shrugged and said, "I gotta pee."

He smiled as she made her way to the bathroom. He waited patiently for her to come out. She sat back down on the bed and leaned back against Grissom. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her cheek.

"So, did you get me a birthday present?" she asked, teasing.

"Actually, yes," he said, "but you'll have to wait. I'm giving it to you at the opportune moment."

"The "opportune moment"?" she parroted, confused.

"Yep," he said, smiling. "I'm making breakfast, what would you like?"

"Um, I'm just gonna have toast and some fruit," she said.

"Suit yourself," he said.

He made them both some toast while Sara prepared a fruit salad. When they both had their breakfast, they settled themselves on the couch. They ate in silence, and Sara suddenly spoke up.

"My birthdays were never any fun. My parents would always insult me and tell me that this was the worst day out of the year...because I was brought into the world on this day," she whispered, tears welling up as she remembered some of her birthdays.

_**Seventh Birthday**_

_Sara woke up and got out of bed. Her brother wished her a happy birthday and gave her a kiss on the cheek. She walked downstairs and did the breakfast dishes as always. Her mother wished her happy birthday as well and gave her a teddy bear._

_"Quick, put it in your room before your father finds it," she whispered._

_Sara ran up to her room and placed the bear on the bed. She started downstairs when she ran into her father._

_"Watch where you're going!" he snarled. "And don't think that you're getting any special treatment because it's your birthday! It's just another day!"_

_Sara blinked back the tears, and did her chores._

_**Eighth Birthday**_

_Sara awoke with that same teddy bear that her mother had given her last year. She doubted she would get anything from her mother this year because she had started drinking. She was normally always in a bitchy mood and ignored her two kids._

_Sara got out of bed and dressed. She went downstairs and started to prepare breakfast, like she had been doing for the past six months. She started making pancakes for her father, who was nursing his fifth beer bottle._

_"Hurry up, I'm starving!" he said, his speech slurred from all the alcohol he had consumed._

_"I'm going as fast as I can," said Sara in a small voice._

_She knew if she didn't do what her father wanted straight away, she would be punished. And she was right. He slapped her across the face and said, "Go faster."_

_Sara wanted to call him all these beastly names and tell him off, but she bit her tongue. She flipped the pancakes and willed them to bake faster. She waited for a minute or so before taking them off and serving them to her father._

_"Finally...it took you forever," he said. "Now get your ass up to your room! I don't want to see your face the rest of the day!"_

_Sara sighed and trudged up the stairs._

_**Ninth Birthday**_

_Sara woke up to her parents arguing. She covered her ears and hummed to block it out. She clenched her eyes shut and hummed even louder as she heard her father slap her mother. Sara hummed and hummed, but nothing worked. She heard them arguing for hours over absolutely nothing._

_'I don't think that bottle of whiskey they both drank helped,' Sara thought. 'God, they're acting so childish!'_

_Sara stayed awake the whole night and received an unpleasant surprise when she woke up. Her mother was battered, bloodied, and unconscious. Sara kept quiet and didn't ask questions, since she knew her father would hit her if she asked. Sara offered her father some more whiskey, and he drank the whole bottle. He fell unconscious, and Sara went to clean up her mother._

_**Tenth, Eleventh, and Twelfth Birthdays**_

_Sara's tenth, eleventh, and twelfth birthdays were all the same. She woke up to her father entering her room. At first, she thought she would just get a beating, but when he tied her to the bed and taped her mouth shut, she knew something was terribly wrong. Her fears were confirmed as he started stripping and he the removed her clothes. Sara tried to cry out, but her screams were muffled and her father hit her every time she tried to scream. He raped her and then slapped her a few times._

_"You ruined everything!" he would snarl. "I wish you were never born...you were a complete mistake!!"_

_He did this the rest of her birthdays, and New Year's Eve at Midnight. She would always dread these holidays, but there was absolutely nothing she could do._

Sara was crying again, and Grissom hugged her tightly. He rocked her gently and nuzzled her hair in an attempt to soothe and comfort her. He kissed her and said, "Sweetheart, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry...you never deserved that."

"Everyone seemed to hate me," she whispered, taking a shuddering breath. "It always seemed as if it was my fault...he always told me that. He would also tell me I was worthless...I'm ashamed to admit this, but I actually started to believe it."

"You did nothing wrong, honey," he said firmly. "It was not your fault...you're father had no right to do any of those things to you!"

"Nobody wanted me around, nobody thought I should even have been born, nobody loved me," Sara whispered, raw vulnerability appearing. "Nobody cared about me."

"But I love you, I care about you, I'm glad you were born, and I want you around," said Grissom lovingly. "In fact, I want you around the rest of my life...marry me."

Sara froze, and looked at Grissom, who had pulled out an engagement. It was a beautiful platinum ring with a nice-sized diamond set into it. Two smaller diamonds were on either side of the bigger diamond.

She covered her mouth with her hand as tears filled her eyes. She nodded and wrapped her arms around him.

"Thank you...this was the best birthday ever!"

* * *

**A/N:** Review if you liked this chapter. Thanks for everyone who reviewed previously. 


	10. Ch 10: Potty Mouth

MEMORIES:

Chapter 10: Potty Mouth

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything. Kelly Clarkson in mentioned in a few chapters, so I don't own any of her songs or anything else of hers.

**Summary:** A case really hits home for Sara, and she opens up to Grissom about her childhood. Then her past comes back to haunt her when her mother is released from prison. GSR!

**Rating:** M (for the language/content, not _that_)

**A/N:** This doesn't have a beta, so all mistakes are mine. Also, this fic has some content that may not be appropriate for some people. DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT LIKE IT WHEN CHILDREN ARE ABUSED!!!

* * *

Sara, of course, accepted his marriage proposal and they wanted to have the wedding after the baby was born. Well, Sara demanded that the wedding be held after she had the baby. 

"I don't want to be fat at our wedding," she had said in her defense.

Grissom tried to talk her out of it, but she stood by what she had said. He finally gave in and agreed. They had not settled on a date because Sara wanted all of her baby fat worked off. Grissom thought it was pointless, and he said that she was beautiful anyway, but she wanted to look good for the pictures.

Grissom stood by her throughout the rest of the pregnancy. Sara was getting antsy and wanted her baby to be born now. She was then starting to worry after her due date flew by and her baby was still in her womb. She would worry that the baby would be too big for her to push out. One day, Grissom found her crying in the bedroom. He immediately walked over and tried to comfort her.

"Honey, what wrong?" he asked. "Are you okay? Is the baby okay?"

"We're fine, but what if – what if the baby doesn't like me?" she asked, taking a shuddering breath.

"Sara, that's–"

"My due date was nine days ago! It doesn't want to be born because it hates me!" she wailed.

"Oh, honey, this baby will absolutely love you," said Grissom, hugging her closely.

Sara's body shook with sobs. Grissom heart ached for her when he saw fear swimming around in her eyes. He gently rocked her and whispered soothingly to her to get her to calm down. He rested his hand on her large abdomen and gently caressed it. To his surprise, he didn't feel a kick, but a spasm. He looked up at Sara. Her face was twisted in pain. She turned white and groaned. She took deep breaths, willing the pain away.

"Sara, I think Maddy wants to meet you right now," he said with a smile.

Sara smiled back and dried her eyes. A flash of worry and panic crossed her eyes and she said, "I don't know if I can do this, Gil."

"I know you can, Sara," he said encouragingly. "I'll be right there beside you the whole time."

"When can I go to the hospital?" she asked.

"From thing's I've read, probably not until your contractions are ten minutes apart and after your water brakes," he said.

The couple waited for Sara's labor to progress. About twenty minutes after her first contraction, Sara had another one. Sara gripped the couch and rode out the pain. Grissom soothingly rubbed her back throughout the contractions. Sara took deep, steady breaths to try and calm herself down.

**CSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSI**

Over four hours passed until Sara's contractions were every fifteen minutes. Grissom suggested that they start for the hospital, and he helped Sara up. They started for the door when Sara stopped dead in her tracks. She looked down and saw a puddle of water by her feet. Her heart started pounding as she realized that this was it...there was no going back now.

"Okay, honey, we need to get you to the hospital before your contractions become too frequent and too powerful," said Grissom. "Just try and stay calm."

"Yeah, 'stay calm' my ass!" she snarled under her breath.

Grissom got them there within fifteen minutes...just in time, too. Sara was severely pissed off and was screaming at Grissom. Grissom got her out of the car and helped her into the hospital, where they got her a wheelchair. Grissom followed as Sara was wheeled off to the delivery floor. He quickly threw on some scrubs and got washed up before heading in with her. She was screaming for an epidural, but the doctor told her that she was too far along to get one.

"Sara, the drug takes awhile to kick in...when it does it'll be useless because you'll already be pushing," said the doctor. "You're eight centimeters dilated..."

"No wonder I'm in excruciating pain!" she screamed.

"...And when you get to ten centimeters, we'll have to deliver your baby," the doctor completed.

"Can't you give her anything?" asked Grissom, addressing the middle-aged woman standing beside him. "Anything at all?"

"I'm very sorry, sir, but you're wife's labor is progressing rapidly," she responded. "I'll be back in a half hour to check on you, Sara."

Sara rolled her eyes and gripped the mattress she was lying on tightly. She clenched her eyes shut and rode out her contractions. Twenty minutes later, she was more than pissed off, and she said, "Goddamn you Gil! This is you fuckin' fault! I hate you, I hate you! I hope you burn in fuckin' _hell_!"

"Sweetie, I'm sorry!" said Grissom. "I'd give anything in the world to take your pain away."

"You're just saying that because you know you'd never have to give birth to a child!" shouted Sara. "You don't give a fuckin' damn! Get out!"

"Sara, I–"

"Get out!" she screaming, pointing to the door. "GET OUT OF THIS FUCKIN' ROOM, GIL!"

He reluctantly left and stood outside. The doctor walked by minutes later and asked, "What's wrong?"

"Sara – Sara screamed at me to get out, so I did," he said quietly. "Could, could you please tell her good luck?"

"Don't you want to go in and tell her yourself?" asked the doctor.

Grissom shook his head and said, "If there's one thing that you don't want to do to Sara when she mad, it is to disobey her wishes. Trust me...it won't be a pretty sight if I go back in there. Just, please tell her that I love her, that I hope everything goes okay, that she'll do great, and that I'll be waiting here for her."

"All right Mr. Grissom, I'll tell her," she said with a smile on her face.

The doctor walked into the room and saw Sara lying there with her arm flung over her closed eyes. She walked over and asked, "How are you doing?"

"Been better," she said quietly, and then she gasped in pain.

"Sara, you're husband wanted me to tell you good luck, he hopes everything goes well, that you'll be fine, you'll do great, that he loves you, and he'll be waiting for you outside the room," recited the doctor. When she saw the tears rising in Sara's eyes she told her quietly, "Your husband's heart is in the right place."

"I know...he's always looking out for me and has my best interests in mind," said Sara with a smile. "Could, could you please get him back in here?"

The doctor smiled warmly before going out to see Grissom. He was pacing a hole in the carpet, and looked up when the doctor came out.

"What happened, is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine...except that Sara's a little lonely," said the doctor. "She wants you back in the room."

He didn't need telling twice. He bolted in and wrapping his arms around his wife. He kissed her hair and apologized over and over again for leaving her. Tears fell down her face as she said, "I'm sorry for being such a bitch. And I don't want you to burn in hell...please forgive me."

"I forgive you, and it's okay...I understand," said Grissom, kissing her tears away.

Sara winced in pain and moaned softly. The doctor checked her real quick and said, "Okay, you're ready to deliver now."

Another contraction racked Sara's body and she gritted her teeth.

"Holy shit this hurts like fuckin' HELL!" she screaming. "Shit, shit, shit, shit, SHIT! Get this kid the hell out! Gil, do something to entertain me! This is the worst fuckin' pain I've had in a long fuckin' while! FUCK!!!"

Grissom smirked humorously and said, "I need to wash your mouth out with soap young lady!"

Sara sneered at him, but then smiled gently before kissing him.

* * *

**A/N:** Woo-Hoo, baby on the way! I love kids...they're so adorable! Anyways, review if you liked it or hated it. Blah, blah, blah, you hear this every time. 


	11. Ch 11: Surprise!

MEMORIES:

Chapter 11: Surprise!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything. Kelly Clarkson in mentioned in a few chapters, so I don't own any of her songs or anything else of hers.

**Summary:** A case really hits home for Sara, and she opens up to Grissom about her childhood. Then her past comes back to haunt her when her mother is released from prison. GSR!

**Rating:** M (for the language/content, not _that_)

**A/N:** This doesn't have a beta, so all mistakes are mine. Also, this fic has some content that may not be appropriate for some people. DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT LIKE IT WHEN CHILDREN ARE ABUSED!!!

* * *

Grissom's small joke kept Sara entertained for about a minute. When another contraction overcame Sara, she muttered an incoherent string of curse words. Grissom was slightly humored by his wife's severe profanity, but then his heart nearly broke when he saw the tears in her eyes. He gently took her hand in his and caressed her knuckles with his thumb. He grasped it and looked over at him. A tear fell down her cheek as she pleaded in a whisper, "Just make it stop!" 

He wiped the tear away and kissed her cheek. He gently gave her hand a squeeze and said, "I honestly wish I could...but we'll have a beautiful baby girl when you're done. Think about the baby, okay? About how much we've been looking forward to this day. About how much we're going to love her. About how much we've been looking forward to being a family. She'll definitely be worth it!"

She gave him a slight smile and grimaced as another wave of pain engulfed her. The doctor (Doctor Hannah Clarkson) came back in moments later with several nurses, ready to deliver the baby. Sara began pushing when instructed and screamed in pain. She grasped Grissom's hand and squeezed, but let go as she realized how hard she was squeezing. Grissom noticed this and said, "Squeeze as hard as you need to, sweetheart – don't worry about hurting me."

At these words, she clamped on tightly to his hand. Sweat was beading all over her forehead and was rolling down her face. Grissom wiped it away with a cold towel and then encouraged her to push.

**CSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSI**

Over a half hour later, an exhausted Sara was screaming at the doctor to get the baby out of her. Grissom's hand was numb from the lack of blood flow because Sara was squeezing it too hard. He didn't care though; Sara was in much more pain.

"Okay, Sara, one more push, and then you'll be done," said the doctor encouragingly.

Sara pushed hard and screamed. She let out a sigh of relief when she saw that the doctor had the bloody, wriggling infant. The doctor placed the baby girl on Sara's chest and she broke down. She touched the infant's cheek gently and whispered to her husband, "She's gorgeous!"

"I know," he said with tears in his eyes. "You did great."

A nurse took the baby to clean her off, weigh her, and measure her. Sara relaxed, glad that her painful ordeal was over, but then tensed up and moaned. Grissom looked at her in alarm and asked her what was wrong. She opened her mouth to respond when she cried out in pain. The doctor noticed, and she inspected Sara. Doctor Clarkson's jaw dropped, and then she said, "Sara, you need to give me another strong push."

"You said I was done!" snarled Sara.

"That was before I knew you were carrying twins."

Grissom was shocked, as was Sara. However, she gave another push, and the doctor was holding another bloody infant. The doctor informed them that they had another baby girl, and then turned her attention back to the infant in her hands. This baby, on the other hand, was not moving, was blue, was not crying, and had the umbilical cord wrapped around its neck. Grissom gasped and murmured, "Oh my God."

"Why, what happened? Gil, what's wrong?" asked Sara fearfully.

"Sara, our baby has the umbilical cord wrapped tightly around her neck," said Grissom, choking back the tears. "She's not moving or crying at the moment...and she's slightly blue."

"No!" Sara cried, tears falling down her cheeks.

Grissom wrapped his arms around his sweaty wife, and rested his cheek on her head. She cried into his chest, and he soothingly rubbed circles over her back. Grissom watched as the doctor cut the umbilical cord off of his daughter's throat. Then Dr. Clarkson cleared her nasal cavities and mouth before attempting to revive the infant. She patted the baby on the back and rubbed her small stomach. The baby still showed no signs of life, scaring Grissom and Sara even more. The doctor repeated this several times. Sara and Grissom then heard the most joyous sound of all...their baby let out a loud wail, and then another one. Sara smiled up at her husband, who kissed her lips and hugged her tightly as their daughter screamed. Tears of joy were pouring down the couples' cheeks as they watched their little girl start to move and turn pinker. Dr. Clarkson placed the baby on Sara's chest before weighing and measuring her. This baby weighed five pounds, nine ounces and was sixteen and a half inches long. Their other baby weighed in at seven pounds, fifteen ounces and was nineteen inches long.

"They're both beautiful," said Grissom quietly to his wife, beaming brightly.

She nodded and lay back in the bed, tired. They moved her to a private room and then they wheeled the twins into the room as well. Before the doctor left the room, Sara asked, "Hey, doc, why didn't any of the ultrasounds show the other baby?"

"Probably because the other baby was bigger and blocked her every time," said the doctor simply. "That happens sometimes. Now, get some rest."

Sara nodded and lay back down. She looked over at the two sleeping babies. Grissom watched her and then turned his attention to the smaller of the two infants.

"We need another name," said Grissom.

"I like the name Erika," said Sara. "How about Erika Nicole Grissom?"

Grissom thought it over and smiled. "Erika Nicole Grissom and Madison Elizabeth Grissom...sounds perfect."

He turned his attention back to the two pink bundles. He put his index finger in each crib, and both babies grasped it. He was surprised at the strength of their grip. He gently rubbed the back of their smooth hand with his large thumb. He smiled and said softly, "Hi Maddy, hi Erika...welcome to the world."

* * *

**A/N:** Yeah, I know this was kinda short...sorry! I promise that the next chapters will be long, be about their family, and will have Sara share more of her childhood. I'll make sure there's a lot of stuff about the babies so it won't be as depressing! Please review...they make me happy, and I need something to cheer me up. I got sunburn really bad and I am SO sore! 


	12. Ch 12: The Nursery

MEMORIES:

Chapter 12: The Nursery

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything. Kelly Clarkson in mentioned in a few chapters, so I don't own any of her songs or anything else of hers.

**Summary:** A case really hits home for Sara, and she opens up to Grissom about her childhood. Then her past comes back to haunt her when her mother is released from prison. GSR!

**Rating:** M (for the language/content, not _that_)

**A/N:** This doesn't have a beta, so all mistakes are mine. Also, this fic has some content that may not be appropriate for some people. DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT LIKE IT WHEN CHILDREN ARE ABUSED!!!

* * *

Sara relaxed on the hospital bed, watching her two newborn girls. Her husband was sitting next to her in a chair, also watching the two babies. The two infants looked exactly like each other, except that Madison was bigger than Erika. Other than that, they were the spitting image of each other. 

A knock interrupted the peaceful family. Grissom got up out of his chair and opened the door. He was met with the smiling faces of the team (plus Lindsey and Brass.) He grinned and opened the door.

"So, where is she?" asked Catherine eagerly.

Grissom pointed at the two cribs, and laughed as the team's jaws' dropped. He smiled and walked back over to his family.

"Tw-twins?" Greg stuttered, looking from one baby to the other.

"We didn't know she was carrying twins," said Nick, looking at the team for support.

"Neither did we," Grissom admitted. "Maddy was born, and we both thought Sara was done...until she screamed again. The next thing I know, the doctor is holding another infant. At first, she wasn't breathing and had her umbilical cord wrapped around her neck. The doctor revived her and told us we had another baby girl."

"But, we will love both of our children and treat them equally and with respect," said Sara quickly.

"Congrats guys!" exclaimed Warrick, patting his supervisor on the back. He then bent down and gave Sara a quick hug.

"So, what did you name the other baby?" asked Brass.

"Erika Nicole Grissom," answered Grissom proudly, gently taking Erika out of her crib. "Isn't she just adorable?"

Sara gently took Maddy out of the crib and cuddled her closely. The team smiled at the family interaction. Catherine gently caressed Erika's chubby cheek.

"I'm gonna take a guess and say that you probably don't have a nursery ready for Erika," said Catherine. "Or any supplies, either."

"Oh, shi – uh, shoot!" exclaimed Grissom.

"Don't worry, we'll get one ready for you," said Catherine. "Do you have a specific room you would like her nursery in?"

Grissom visually tried to think of all the bedrooms in their house. He finally remembered that there was another empty room across from Maddy's nursery. He quickly told them the location and thanked them. Catherine ushered the guys and her daughter out into the hallway and told the couple not to worry about anything.

"Meet me at the Grissom residence," said Catherine, once they were out in the hall. "Then we can see what Maddy's room looks like...then we can see what kind of style to make Erika's room."

They all drove to the Grissom's house. Catherine unlocked the door (courtesy of the key provided by Grissom) and they walked into the house. The team had never been in the Grissom's house, and they were shocked by how big it was. After recovering from the initial shock of the house, they walked through the house until they found the right room.

"A person could get lost in this place!" exclaimed Brass.

The team looked over into Maddy's room. They saw that the room was painted in a soft pink color. The room was very easy on the eyes; not too dark, not too bright. The wallpaper and border had pictures of butterflies and caterpillars splashed all over the white background.

"How did I know that this room would have bugs in it?" Greg asked, eying wallpaper.

"Screw the bugs, who knew that Sara and Griss could decorate a room like this?" asked Lindsey.

"Okay, Nick and Warrick...I'm gonna let you guys be in charge of the paint, wallpaper, decorations, etc," said Catherine. "Use your imagination...just don't get anything too wild, okay?"

"All right," the duo said, smiling at each other.

"Greg, Jim, can you two get furniture for the room?" asked Catherine. "Including another car seat, baby carriage, etc?"

"You got it," said Brass.

"Lindsey and I will get the baby formula, diapers, clothes, toys, pacifiers, and stuff like that," said Catherine.

"If we see anything cute, can we pick it up?" asked Nick, looking around at the others, who were nodding their agreement.

"Sure," said Catherine. "Okay, let's meet back in here in about two hours."

Everyone left to get their assigned items. After two hours of fun-filled shopping, the team met back in Erika's nursery. Everyone was loaded with bags.

"Well, let's get this party started," said Catherine. "Nick, Warrick, let's see what kind of paint you got."

The two guys pulled out several cans of light purple paint, some wallpaper, and a border. The wallpaper had a very pale purple background with ladybugs and dragonflies scattered throughout the paper. Some of the insects were resting on flowers, grasses, and other vegetation. The border matched the wallpaper.

"Aww, this is cute!" teased Jim.

"Hey, Erika is cute, so she deserves a cute room," Nick defended.

"I think it will look great," said Catherine, smiling. "What's in the other bags?"

Nick and Warrick gently pulled out two glass display cases. Catherine smiled when she saw a collection of butterflies in one case and a collection of dragonflies in the other. They gently set them down and Warrick said, "I figured the dragonfly display could go in Maddy's room because Erika's got dragonflies on her wallpaper..."

"...And Erika could get the butterfly display because her sister has butterflies on her wallpaper," Nick finished.

Catherine smiled and said, "It's perfect! Well, we better get started on painting. Everyone...grab a brush, and grab a wall."

**CSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSI**

It took them a little over an hour to pain the walls. When they were done, Warrick, Nick, and Greg got some step-ladders and started on the ceiling. After about two hours, the ceiling was complete. Everyone was splattered with paint by the end.

"I think we should go home, get a shower, get some rest and some food while this paint dries," suggested Catherine, wiping paint of her cheek.

Everyone agreed and left to go home. They met up several hours later to get the furniture settled in. Brass and Greg lugged in several boxes. These boxes contained a crib, a dresser, a rocking chair, and a changing table. The team worked together to get everything assembled. They made sure everything was absolutely safe and sturdy.

"Okay, what's in those bags?" asked Catherine, pointing to the stuffed bags.

"Well, this one has a few lamps in it," said Greg, "and that one has some baby clothes."

He pulled out two lamps and set one on the dresser, and the other on a table located in the opposite side of the room. He plugged them in and turned on the light, since it was getting dark outside. Evidently this room used to be a spare room, because nothing was in there (not even lights) and the walls were all a sterile white color.

"Okay, let's load the dresser with as many baby clothes as possible. Anything we can't fit in here will go in the closet," said Catherine.

"Jeez, how many clothes did y'all buy?" asked Nick, staring at all of the bags loaded with clothing.

"Babies grow rapidly, Nick," said Brass.

"And their clothes are just so adorable," said Lindsey, grinning.

They all worked to fill the dresser with the clothing they all bought. They ran out of space after putting half the outfits in the drawers, so they switched to hanging them in the closet. They finally finished, and the only job remaining was to hang up the display cases of the butterflies. Warrick worked gingerly to screw the display case into place straightly. He finished and stepped back to admire his work.

"Great job...think you can do the same thing in Maddy's room?" asked Catherine, wrapping her arms around his waist.

She quickly let go and blushed as she realized everyone was staring at them. She quickly walked into the other room.

"Way to go, man," said Nick, patting Warrick on the back. "How long has that been going on?"

"About a month and a half," said Warrick, quickly retreating to Maddy's room with the dragonfly display case.

He screwed this case to the wall and looked at it. He looked at the rest of the room and said, "Hey, this room doesn't have a clock."

"That's what this is for," said Greg, wiggling a clock in his face. Warrick took it from him and hung it on a nail he hammered in the wall. He did the same thing in Erika's room and looked around.

"I think we did a pretty good job," said Lindsey, noticing Warrick's pride.

"Yeah, now let's get our butts back to that hospital."

**GSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSR**

The next day, Sara, Maddy, and Erika were discharged from the hospital with a clean bill of health. The team was waiting for them on the front porch with a grin on their faces. Grissom carried Maddy while Sara carried Erika.

"Come on," said Greg, leading them into the house like an over-excited puppy.

Sara laughed at Greg's excitement and followed him in. They walked down the hall and into Erika's new room. Sara gasped as she looked around. She smiled at the group and said, "Wow, thank you guys! This is amazing."

Sara gently placed Erika in the crib and saw the butterfly display case.

"That's beautiful," she said, walking over to it.

"We figured since Maddy's room had butterflies on the wallpaper, Erika could have a butterfly display case in hers," said Nick.

"Thank you," said Grissom, smiling at the team.

They walked across the hall and into Maddy's nursery. Grissom placed his other daughter into the crib, while his wife walked over to the dragonfly case. She smiled and said, "So you gave Maddy a dragonfly display case because Erika had them on _her_ wallpaper?"

Warrick smiled and nodded. After being thanked multiple times, Grissom and Sara shocked them all. Everyone (including Lindsey) got eighty dollars shoved into their hands. They were about to refuse when Sara said, "You bought all this stuff for our daughters, so we're showing our appreciation and helping you with the expenses."

The team thanked them and left to get some sleep before work. Sara relaxed on the couch while Grissom made dinner.

"Hon, you've got a letter," Grissom called from the kitchen

"From who?" asked Sara.

"I'm not sure...there's no return address," said Grissom, handing her the letter.

Sara opened it and took out the letter. Her hands began to tremble as she read it. Tears formed in her eyes and she turned white. She dropped the letter into her lap and sat there, shocked.

"Honey, what is it?" asked Grissom, very concerned. "Who's it from?"

"My...my mom!"

* * *

**A/N:** This chapter was kinda weird, but putting together a baby's room is really fun. The next chapter will explain what the letter said and why Sara was so upset. 


	13. Ch 13: Reunion

MEMORIES:

Chapter 13: Reunion

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything. Kelly Clarkson in mentioned in a few chapters, so I don't own any of her songs or anything else of hers.

**Summary:** A case really hits home for Sara, and she opens up to Grissom about her childhood. Then her past comes back to haunt her when her mother is released from prison. GSR!

**Rating:** M (for the language/content, not _that_)

**A/N:** This doesn't have a beta, so all mistakes are mine. Also, this fic has some content that may not be appropriate for some people. DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT LIKE IT WHEN CHILDREN ARE ABUSED!!!

* * *

Grissom sat there, just as shocked as Sara. He looked at the bottom of the letter and, sure enough, the signature said _Laura Sidle_. Grissom hugged his sobbing fiancé and rubbed her back. Sara cried herself out several minutes later, but she was still scared to death. Her heart was hammering in her chest, she was extremely pale, and she was shaking. Sara pulled her knees up to her chest and stayed in Grissom's comforting arms. He kissed her gently and asked, "What did the letter say?"

She picked up the letter and showed him. He took the piece of paper and looked at it as if it had razor-sharp teeth. He took a deep breath and silently read,

_Sara,_

_How does it make you feel to know that I'm out of jail now? Scared, nervous...or guilty? It was all YOUR fault I was sent to prison in the first place! I would never have been sent there if YOU hadn't opened your mouth! You could've just kept your mouth shut and lied that he stabbed himself and committed suicide! But, no, you just HAD to open your fuckin' mouth and blab to everyone that I killed you father! They locked me up in an insane asylum for THREE YEARS! It was hell! Then they sent me to that god-forsaken hell-hole that they called jail! Jail was horrible...the food was inedible, I couldn't go anywhere without an escort, I couldn't do anything without someone barging in, and I was so lonely._

_I intend to make you pay for what you did to me! YOU TOOK AWAY EVERYTHING, YOU LITTLE BITCH!! So, I am going to take away everything from you, too. Your job, you're nice little house, your fiancé's life, the life of your two little girls, and then, finally, your life. I know where you work, I know where you live...I WILL FIND YOU!!_

_Laura Sidle_

Grissom sat there, shocked. His fiancé started crying again and scared to death. He hugged her tight and kissed her hair. She shuddered in his arms, and he rocked her back and forth gently. She clutched his shirt tightly, as if he could be taken away from her at that very second. He soothingly rubbed her back and kissed her until she calmed down enough to speak.

"How did she find me?" Sara cried fearfully. "How did she find out about you? How'd she find out about Erika and Maddy? God, she's gonna kill us!"

"Sara, calm down," said Grissom, watching Sara go into a complete panic attack.

"Calm down!" she parroted. "How can I calm down when she threatened to kill Erika and Maddy? She threatened to kill you! She's going to take away everything I love, and _you_ have the nerve to tell me to calm down!"

"Honey, she's not going to lay a hand on our children," said Grissom firmly, cupping her cheek and tilting her head upwards so she was looking into his eyes. "Sara, look at me...I will not let her come near our kids, I will not let her hurt you or the kids, okay? I will do anything and everything in my power to protect my family."

Sara sniffled and nodded. She burrowed her face into his chest and stayed there until they were interrupted by a soft whine from down the hall. The couple got up and walked into Maddy's room. She was very awake and becoming fussy. Grissom gently lifted her and said, "Hey, Maddy, what's wrong, sweetie?"

He set her down and checked her diaper, and it was fine. Sara went to warm a bottle, but she wouldn't take it. Grissom gently cuddled her and stroked her chubby cheek. She cooed a bit and started to settle down. Sara smiled and said, "I guess she just wanted her Daddy."

Grissom smiled down at his daughter and said, "You really _are_ Daddy's little girl, aren't you?"

Again, she made a soft cooing noise and her eyelids gently fluttered closed. Grissom rocked her slowly until she fell asleep. He then placed her back into her cradle and they walked across the hall into Erika's room. The infant was awake, but was lying there silently. Sara talked quietly to her until she, too, fell asleep. Sara smiled and placed her index finger into her daughter's hand. The infant instinctively squeezed it and Sara gently caressed her small, smooth hand. For now, all of her fears had diappeared, and she was as happy as could be.

**6 MONTHS LATER**

Sara and Grissom were enjoying a quiet day off with their family. Madison and Erika were on the floor, playing, as were their parents. It was a picture-perfect scene; Grissom and Sara were on their stomachs' with their daughters, watching them look around the room with interest. Sara gently picked Erika up and lifted her above her head, and flew her around in the air. Erika giggled happily and smiled at her mother. Sara quickly dipped her daughter, making airplane noises as she continued to fly her daughter in the air. When her arms got too tired, Sara brought Erika down to the ground, and set her on her lap. The baby giggled and kicked happily. Grissom smiled as he watched his wife interact with the baby.

Maddy, who was watching her mother play with her sister, whined and reached for her mother. Sara looked over and said, "You too? Alright, come here."

Madison smiled and started to crawl towards her mother and sibling. Sara gently set Erika down with her father and lifted Maddy above her head, making the same airplane noises. Maddy cooed and smiled at Sara as she flew around the room. Sara landed Maddy on her stomach a few minutes later and set her down. Maddy kicked and giggled just like her sister, and Erika crawled over to them.

Sara set Maddy down with her sister and she gently tickled both of her daughter's bellies. Both babies giggled and kicked happily, watching their mother intently. Grissom watched them, a smile plastered on his face. He sat down next to his wife and put his arms around her. She rested her head on his shoulder, and sighed in satisfaction. She set Maddy down in her lap and let her husband sit the smaller of the twins in his lap. They were both happy and were thinking that nothing could ruin this moment...

...Then the doorbell rang. Sara got up with Maddy and set the baby on her hip. Grissom followed with Erika and stood behind his wife as she opened the door. Sara stood there, shocked at the woman on the porch. The woman was wearing tattered jeans and a filthy shirt, her brown hair was greasy and messy, bags were under her blood-shot chocolaty-brown eyes, and her skin was very pale.

"Sara, long time no see."

"Mom, what are you doing here?" asked Sara, hugging Maddy protectively to her chest.

"I wanted to see if you got my letter," said Laura Sidle.

"I did," said Sara coldly.

"So then you knew I'd be coming around," said Laura.

"What are you talking about?" asked Sara, confused.

"I told you I knew where you and your fiancé live," said Laura, nodding to Grissom and their house. "And this must be Madison...that must be little Erika."

"How did you–?"

"Erika was smaller at birth, that why they missed her in the ultrasounds," said Laura.

Sara's heart raced as she wondered how in the world her mother knew all this information. Sara took a small step backwards towards Grissom. She was comforted by his hand on her lower back. She glanced over and saw him hugging Erika to his chest as well.

"How do you know all of this?" asked Sara, her voice trembling.

"I have my sources," said Laura, flashing her daughter a sly smile.

"I want you to leave," said Sara, kissing her daughter's forehead.

"Aww, so much love for your daughter," taunted Laura. She looked over at Grissom and warned, "You'd better keep your eye out on him...you remember what your father was like."

Sara bit her lip and shuddered slightly as some memories flooded back to her. She looked over at Grissom and then back at her mother. She then said confidently, "No...Gil would never lay a hand on me or our children. He loves us."

"That's what your father promised me," said Laura venomously. "He said he'd love us, take care of us, and protect us. Then he drank and all of that went to hell. You watch, he'll change, and then you'll be crawling back to me...you just watch."

"Please, just go!" Sara pleaded, tears forming.

"You made my life hell, Sara!" screamed Laura. "It was horrible...well, you read the letter.

"You think you had it bad?" Sara asked quietly, tears falling. "I moved from foster home to foster home, like some toy being passed around. Nobody cared about me or loved me, everyone shunned me...I was known as 'The-Girl-Whose-Father-Was-Stabbed-To-Death' for God's sake! You threatened me before they locked you up. The only thing that comforted me was the fact that you were in jail...now you're out."

"You were supposed to protect me...I'm your mother!"

"What about me?" asked Sara slowly. "I'm your daughter...your husband would sneak into my room and rape me. I would tell you about it, and you didn't give a fuckin' damn because you were either high or drunk! You would sneak off at night and leave me with me drunken father who would beat the living shit out of me! You lied to everyone and made it hell for not only me but yourself...you could've gone to the police and helped yourself out! But no, you stayed quiet and watched your husband abuse me for seven years! Then you left him with me and Christina...you see how that turned out! She's in a grave, Dad's burning in hell, you went to rot in jail, and I was orphaned! Don't you dare tell me that I was supposed to protect you...just don't!"

Tears were falling and Grissom wrapped his free arm around Sara and hugged her tightly. He kissed the top of her head and said, "You need to leave. Either leave, or I'll call the police and have them arrest you for trespassing."

He slammed the door shut and walked Sara to the couch. He sat her down and gently quietly took their two daughters to their cribs' for their nap. He returned to his fiancé, who was curled into a ball, crying.

* * *

**A/N:** I thought I could update soon, but I had a softball tournament and couldn't. But, the tournament was fun...especially because we took home the first place trophy!:) So, there you go, for now. I'll update whenever I can...my schedule is whacky right now!


	14. Ch 14: Promises

MEMORIES:

Chapter 14: Promises

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything. Kelly Clarkson in mentioned in a few chapters, so I don't own any of her songs or anything else of hers.

**Summary:** A case really hits home for Sara, and she opens up to Grissom about her childhood. Then her past comes back to haunt her when her mother is released from prison. GSR!

**Rating:** M (for the language/content, not _that_)

**A/N:** This doesn't have a beta, so all mistakes are mine. Also, this fic has some content that may not be appropriate for some people. DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT LIKE IT WHEN CHILDREN ARE ABUSED!!!

* * *

Grissom walked over to Sara and hugged her tightly. She looked up at him and said, "I want a restraining order against her."

"Okay, honey, we'll get one," said Grissom. "How about she can't come within a hundred yards of you, me, or the twins? Would that make you feel any more comfortable, sweetheart?"

She nodded and hugged him back. She kissed him before saying, "Thank you, Gil. I really appreciate you sticking with me through this whole ordeal. I bet it's not a walk in the park for you...especially with me crying every ten minutes. I'm sorry about that too. I–"

"Sara, stop," he said gently, smiling at her ramblings. "I hate to see you cry, but I love making you feel better. I would stick with you through anything...never _ever_ doubt that."

She nodded and rested in his arms. She took a deep breath before saying, "Before my mom started going to AA meetings and became sober, she was always drunk as hell. She slurred her words, she talked nonsense, and she could hardly walk. She'd become mean and nasty, insulting anyone within her sight. I always tried to stay in my room to avoid any injuries. I thought that ever kid's household was like mine; hostile, full of fights, people screaming, kids hiding. I'd look out my window and see other kids smiling and playing happily, but I always thought that they'd get a severe beating for going outside...that's what happened to me. If I ever went outside and talked to someone, I'd always end up in the hospital."

Grissom winced and held her tightly as she continued, "My father drank a lot more than my mom, so he was almost always unconscious...which was a good thing for me, because he was a hell of a lot stronger that my mom. However, my mom would still beat me and beat me until I blacked out. She'd beat me until she shattered several of my bones."

"When did she join Alcoholics Anonymous?"

"Right after my worst beating," Sara answered quietly.

_Eight year old Sara hid in her room, terrified. Her parents we arguing again and she knew that she would be the brunt of their anger when they finished with each other. So, she kept on praying that they both drink some more and become unconscious, or that they knock each other out. Half of her prayer came true; her father drank too much for his own good and blacked out. Her mother, however, was drunk, delusional and in a very pissy mood. Sara's heart started thundering in her chest when she heard her mother make her way up the stairs towards her room. The bedroom door opened and Sara tried to make herself as small as possible. A drunken Laura Sidle walked in, very tipsy, grabbed her daughter by the arm, and yanked her off the bed. Sara whimpered and bit back a scream, because that was the same shoulder her father dislocated a while ago. Laura shoved her against the wall, and Sara hit it, hard. There was a hole in the wall when Sara got up from the floor. Laura then threw her daughter roughly to the floor, and Sara cried out._

_"You little bitch, you ruined everything!" Laura muttered. "You'd be of more use to the family if you were dead! You were a complete accident, a mistake, an accident of biology! After you were born, everything went to hell!"_

_Laura repeatedly threw her daughter against the walls and floor until Sara blacked out. She woke up in the hospital several days later with her arm in am cast and her leg in a cast. The doctor was there and he said, "Hey, Sara, glad you could join us."_

_"Where am I?" she asked groggily. "My arm hurts."_

_"Well, that's no surprise," said the doctor. "You shattered your whole left arm, and snapped your right leg. Do you remember what happened?"_

_Sara blinked and her mind screamed, 'Yes, my mother threw me against the frickin' wall and floor!' but she instead lied and saied she couldn't remember anything. She looked at her self and saw bruises everywhere. She then saw movement in the corner of the room and saw her mother._

_"You ran into a wall, honey," she said in a voice that sounded as if she cared. "Remember...you were outside with me playing football and you went back for a long pass and ran full-force into the brick wall."_

_Sara nodded and stayed quiet. The doctor nodded and said, "That would account for all these injuries. You should be able to go home tomorrow if everything's okay...but you'll have to use a wheelchair because your shattered arm makes crutches out of the question."_

_"Okay," said Sara quietly. "Hey doc, do you think I could have some pain meds? My arm really aches."_

_He nodded and left to get some. Sara avoided her mother's gaze, but Laura said the unthinkable, "Sara, I'm sorry."_

_Sara snapped her head over to look at her mother. Shock registered in her brown eyes as she looked at her mother._

_"I just lost total control and I'm sorry," she said. "I could've killed you."_

_"How can I trust you?" Sara asked, knowing that this may not be the best course of action right now. "How can I really trust you? How do I know that when we get home, everything won't be back to normal?"_

_"You're exactly right...I've given you no reason to trust me," said Laura shamefully. "But I'm trying...I'm giving up alcohol and joining a support group to help me through it. I really am sorry and I know that I will never be able to undo the damage I've caused...but is there any way I can help?"_

_"You know, there may be," said Sara thoughtfully._

_"Anything."_

_"Try and keep Dad in line," said Sara quietly, trying not to get her hopes up._

_"I'll do my best," said Laura, walking over and hugging her daughter._

_Sara couldn't detect even a trace of alcohol on her mother. Sara smiled and hugged her mother back._

"Did she stay sober?" asked Grissom.

"Actually, so did," Sara responded. "It surprised the hell out of me...I thought she was just acting like a loving parent so the doctors wouldn't get curious. She did try and keep my father in line...but she got several beatings from him. I remember one time she tried to stop him from smashing my head into the table and he broke all of her fingers in her left hand. I think that was the week after I came home from the hospital after my mother attacked me...I looked up to her after that. Then everything fell to pieces after I testified against her after murdering Dad."

Sara sighed and said, "I think I'm gonna go get the twins and bring them out here for a bit...maybe just watch them sleep for a bit. I just need to watch them right now and know they're okay...especially since Mom's somewhere around here.

Grissom nodded and the two stood up and walked towards the nurseries. Sara headed into Erika's nursery and gently lifted the sleeping infant into her arms. The baby stirred but stayed asleep. Grissom got Maddy and the family walked into the living room. Grissom and Sara set their daughters down on the floor and watched them sleep. Sara gently ran her index finger down Erika's shoulder and arm. Sara smiled as the baby flashed a big, gummy smile in her sleep.

Grissom watched his future wife interact with their children. He smiled and he then heard her murmur to the sleeping infants, "I promise I will _never_ harm you."

* * *

**A/N:** Hope you liked it. The next chapter will probably about their wedding, but I don't think it will be posted for awhile. I've got another softball tournament and I still need to write it up, too, so...

Well, let me know if you liked it, hated it, or whatever's on your mind. I accept all kinds of reveiws, even flames, because I want to improve my writing!


	15. Ch 15: Forever

MEMORIES:

Chapter 15: Forever

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything. Kelly Clarkson in mentioned in a few chapters, so I don't own any of her songs or anything else of hers.

**Summary:** A case really hits home for Sara, and she opens up to Grissom about her childhood. Then her past comes back to haunt her when her mother is released from prison. GSR!

**Rating:** M (for the language/content, not _that_)

**A/N:** This doesn't have a beta, so all mistakes are mine. Also, this fic has some content that may not be appropriate for some people. DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT LIKE IT WHEN CHILDREN ARE ABUSED!!!

**A/N 2:** This chapter is about their wedding, and does have a small spoiler in it: **Grave Danger** and** Way to Go**. Just and FYI.

* * *

Sara looked at herself in the mirror for what seemed like the thousandth time, making sure she looked perfect. It was her wedding day and she wanted everything to be absolutely perfect. The wedding was taking place outside in the couples' backyard and the reception would be held inside the Grissoms' house. The wedding wasn't very large; the only people attending were people from the lab, and some of Grissom and Sara's friends. Grissom timidly asked Sara if he could invite Lady Heather, and he was shocked when she said yes.

Anyways, Catherine and Lindsey tried to calm the nervous woman down and told her she looked lovely. Sara paced back and forth, looking at the clock periodically. Lindsey suppressed a smile as her mother said, "Sara, you're going to wear a hole in the carpet if you don't stop pacing!"

"God, I'm so nervous!" Sara exclaimed, continuing to pace.

"Why? He loves you so much, Sara," said Catherine. "His face always lights up when he sees you, he always has a dreamy look in his eyes around you...he stares at your picture at work when he's supposed to be doing our evaluations, for God's sake! Sara, I have never seen a man more in love than Gil...you two were meant for each other. Trust me, I can pick out the bad couples."

Sara smiled and hugged the blonde. She had asked Catherine to be her maid of honor, and for Lindsey to be the flower girl.

"Okay, show time," Catherine whispered, pointing to the clock. "Everything will be fine, Sara."

She nodded and walked out of the room, where Brass was waiting. Since her father was no longer alive, Jim was going to walk her down the aisle and give her away. Sara smiled at him and gently hooked her arm with his. They walked down the aisle together when they heard the music playing. She saw Grissom waiting for her and she beamed. He smiled back and looked at her. In his eyes, she looked gorgeous; her hair was put up in a bun, she had on a butterfly necklace with several gems embedded in the wings, and her silk white dress hugged all of her curves.

Sara waited with Jim off to the side and waited for the pastor to ask his permission to give away the bride. He willingly agreed and she walked over to stand next to Gil. The pastor then asked Grissom to read his vows.

"I've never been any good with words, so here it goes," he said, and he then took a deep breath. "Sara, when I first laid my eyes on you, you took my breath away. Not only were you beautiful, you were funny, intelligent, intriguing, compassionate, caring, and most definitely enigmatic."

Sara smiled through the tears welling up as he continued.

"I know I've caused you harm the past few years, and I'm very sorry," he said. "I was a big jerk, and made you miserable. After Nicky was kidnapped, I realized that life was way to short, so I decided to let you in...and that has by far been the best choice I have ever made. You complete me, Sara, I love you so much. I will stick with you through everything, because, like you said before, I'm not ready to say goodbye."

Sara had tears streaming down her cheeks and a smile plastered to her face. She wiped the tears away and took a deep breath.

"Well, so much for not being good with words, Gil...that was beautiful," she said. "Well, the first time I met you, you were...interesting."

That comment was followed by giggles from the guests and a smirk from Grissom.

"You were funny, smart, confusing, and obsessed with bugs," she said, smiling. "When you called me to Vegas, I was so excited because I would see you again. I will admit, it was a very rough road for me to get to this place. But, you _finally_ pulled your head out of your butt and let me in, and I am very grateful that you did. You're always there when I need you...you let me lean on you when I need it, you wipe away all my tears, you put up with my constant bickering, and you've helped me through these past few months. I love you and I thank God for you every day and I can't imagine my life without you...I'm not ready to say goodbye, either."

Grissom was beaming, waiting for the pastor to say the magic words. First, he asked the couple if they would take each other to be their husband/wife, be with them through sickness and health, for better or for worst, until death parted them. They both said "I do," and then the pastor finally said it.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife," he said. "You may kiss the bride."

Grissom leaned in to kiss her and she met him halfway. They met in the middle for a long kiss and he wrapped his arms around her small frame. They broke apart from the kiss when the need for air became too great. They beamed at each other and Grissom whispered, "I love you."

"I love you too," she responded, wiping the tears of joy away.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and led her away. They thanked their guests for coming and allowed them to enter their house. The celebration lasted all night, and Grissom never let Sara out of his sight the whole time. When it came time for them to dance, they danced to their song: _I'll Stand by You_ (the version Carrie Underwood sang.)

When it was time to leave, Catherine and Lindsey offered to take the twins to their house so the newlywed couple could have a night to themselves. They agreed and let their seven month old daughters go with Catherine.

As they lay in bed that night, Grissom held Sara tight. He kissed her hair and said, "I will stand by you forever...forever."

* * *

**A/N:** I finally got this thing posted. I was going to be super mean and have Sara's mother show up and completely ruin the wedding, but I decided not to. Let me know what you thought. The lyrics to that song are below.

**Oh, why you look so sad?**

**Tears are in your **

**I'll stand by you,**

**I'll stand by you,**

**I won't let nob****ody hurt you,  
I'll stand by you  
So, if you're mad get mad,**

**I get angry too  
Well I'm alot like you.  
When you'****re standing at the crossroads,**

**Don't know which path to choose,  
Let me come along, cause even if your wrong  
**

**I'll stand by you,**

**I'll stand by you, **

**I won't let nob****ody hurt you,  
I'll stand by you  
Take me in into your darkest hour,**

**And I'll never desert you  
I'll stand by you  
And when, when the night falls on you baby, you're feeling all alone,  
You won't be on your own, I'll stand by you.**

**I'll stand by you,**

**Won't let nobody hurt you. **

**I'll stand by you  
Take me in into your darkest hour and I'll never desert you  
I'll stand b****y you. ooooh,**

**I'll stand by you**

**I'll stand by you**


	16. Ch 16: I Don't Care Anymore!

MEMORIES:

Chapter 16: I Don't Care Anymore!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything. Kelly Clarkson in mentioned in a few chapters, so I don't own any of her songs or anything else of hers.

**Summary:** A case really hits home for Sara, and she opens up to Grissom about her childhood. Then her past comes back to haunt her when her mother is released from prison. GSR!

**Rating:** M (for the language/content, not _that_)

**A/N:** This doesn't have a beta, so all mistakes are mine. Also, this fic has some content that may not be appropriate for some people. DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT LIKE IT WHEN CHILDREN ARE ABUSED!!!

**A/N 2:** I am SO sorry it took five months to write and post this chapter. I've been having personal problems, and needed to take care of them. I hope you still enjoy this!

* * *

The couple didn't go on a honeymoon, but instead stayed home and enjoyed being with each other. After picking the twins up from Catherine's house, Grissom drove home to be with his family. The newlyweds walked into their home and into the living room to play with their kids. Grissom played with Maddy while Sara played with Erika, until the infants wanted to play together. 

"Gil, we should probably put them down for their nap," Sara said as she noticed that their kids could barely keep their eyes open.

He agreed, and he picked Maddy up. She rested her cheeks against his shoulder, and fell asleep almost instantly. He smiled and kissed her forehead gently as he walked to her room. Sara walked with Erika into her room, and the couple put the kids down. The met up in the hallway, and walked to the living room again. They sat on the couch, and Sara sighed.

"Being a child shouldn't hurt," she said as she looked at the photos of Erika and Maddy that were scattered on the walls. "Children should laugh, smile, play, have fun, and feel good about themselves...they shouldn't be scared, hurt, or feel like crap. When I was a kid, that's all I knew...I had a hard time trusting anyone else, and I wouldn't open up."

_Thirteen year old Sara is sitting in the bedroom of her first foster home. The other fosters were somewhat nice, but she didn't really fit in. She sat on the bed, hugging the teddy bear her mother had gotten her oh so many years ago. She cried into the bear, as she convinced herself that she was a worthless piece of shit who doesn't deserve to live. That's all she had heard growing up, so that's all she knew. Sara looked at her arms and saw the hand-shaped bruises that used to pepper her pale skin. Even though she hadn't been touch once by anyone, she could still see the bruises that should be there. She sighed and lay down in the soft bed. Closing her eyes, she saw images that she never wanted to see again; her father screaming at her, her father bleeding on the floor, her father's lifeless eyes, and her mother going insane._

_Sara woke up in a cold sweat, and whimpered. The tears fell down her cheeks as she walked to the bathroom. She picked up her razor and walked back to her room. Sara sat down on her bed, and looked at her wrist, which used to be either broken or bruised. She saw the veins running down her arm, and they looked so welcoming to the razor blade. Her chest hurt like hell, and she prayed that god would take away the hurt._

_"You're not helping, so I guess I'll have to take the pain away," she said as she slid the razor across her wrist gently._

_Red blood tricked out, and pain shot through her arm. She smiled as she focused on the physical pain instead of the emotional hurt. She sliced her wrist open five times, until she told herself she should probably stop. She cursed as she realized she would have to change for gym class. Well, it was winter and cold, so she knew the teacher wouldn't get mad if she asked to keep the sweatshirt on. Sara wrapped the bloody razor in a towel and stuck it in her backpack. She then walked to the bathroom again and grabbed a washcloth. She ran it under hot water, and held it against her bleeding wrists. She eventually got the bleeding to stop, and she walked back to bed. Her dreams were still plagued with images of her dead family members and her mother, but she just didn't care anymore._

_The next few weeks, Sara just shut herself away from the world. She didn't talk, even if the teacher told her to. The teachers sent her to the school's Guidance Councilor, but she remained tight-lipped. She wouldn't eat anything, nor would she sleep. Her foster parents became really concerned, and took her to the doctor's office. Sara didn't complain or talk to them or the doctor. Only when the doctor told her to roll up her sleeves was when she pitched a fit. She knew they would freak out when they saw the cuts._

_"Sara, we just want to help you," the doctor said gently._

_After a bit of coaxing, Sara rolled the sleeves up. They saw the healed cuts, and the fresh ones. Her foster mother, Jody, freaked out – like Sara had predicted – and started apologizing. Sara was at first ashamed, but soon didn't care anymore. She stared out the window and wrapped her arms around her thin torso. The doctor prescribed some anti-depressants and sent her home. They got home, and Sara went straight to her room._

_The next couple of weeks passed, and Sara wasn't getting any better. Although she was eating again, she wasn't socializing, and still cut herself. Her foster family couldn't her get to stop. One day, Sara just had had enough. She didn't think life was worth living because she felt like shit, and her family was so dysfunctional. She walked into the bathroom and grabbed the bottle to anti-depressants. She wrote a quick note before popping several pills into her mouth. She swallowed damn near the whole container before blacking out._

"My foster sister found me, slumped forward onto the desk," Sara whispered, tears prickling her eyes. "She called Jody and her husband Mike and they took me to the ER. I got my stomach pumped, and they revived me. They took me to psychiatrist after psychiatrist, and got me help. I don't think I tried to kill myself after that point.

"But why?" Grissom asked, holding his wife tightly. "Why did you want to end your life so early?"

"I couldn't take it anymore," Sara said, ashamed. "See these?"

She rolled up her sleeves and showed him several scars from where she had cut herself. "I still cut myself afterwards, but stopped as soon as I got to college. Then I met you."

He smiled, and wiped a stray tear off of her cheek. She buried her face in his neck and said, "I'm so glad I didn't succeed at suicide. I never would've met you, had Maddy or Erika, or be married to you...I never would've known happiness."

* * *

**A/N 2:** Again, I am SO sorry it took me forever. From personal experience, I know how sucky life can get sometimes. But, you just have to grit your teeth and ride through it, it will get better. Don't cut, because I did, and got sent to the hospital for cutting too deep. Okay, that's my lecture/advice for the day. 

I wish you all a Merry Christmas, but I'll tell you again if you review!


	17. Ch 17: Nobody Can Help Me Now

MEMORIES:

Chapter 17: Nobody Can Help Me Now

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything. Kelly Clarkson in mentioned in a few chapters, so I don't own any of her songs or anything else of hers.

**Summary:** A case really hits home for Sara, and she opens up to Grissom about her childhood. Then her past comes back to haunt her when her mother is released from prison. GSR!

**Rating:** M (for the language/content, not _that_)

**A/N:** This doesn't have a beta, so all mistakes are mine. Also, this fic has some content that may not be appropriate for some people. DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT LIKE IT WHEN CHILDREN ARE ABUSED!!!

* * *

Sara and Grissom walked to their bedroom, and tried to get some sleep. Sara curled up as she had always done. Ever since she could remember, Sara always slept in a ball, hugging her knees to her chest. She always did it when she was a child because she felt safer and more secure. Even after her horrific childhood ended, she always slept like that. 

Grissom hugged her to his chest, and she relaxed. She slipped off into a deep sleep, and at first, all she saw was the smiling faces of her daughters and her husband. However, she quickly saw images that scared her shitless. She jolted awake, breathing heavily. Grissom woke up to her breathing, and instantly wrapped his arms around her. His heart felt like it was being shredded as he felt her shaking violently in his arms. He hugged her and she pressed her face into his shoulder. Tears leaked from her eyes and fell down her cheeks and images from her nightmare burned themselves into her brain.

"Honey, it's okay," he whispered, running his fingers soothingly through her silky hair. "I'm here, everything's okay...you're okay."

She finally settled down, but would not let go of Grissom he stroked circles on her back and kissed her head multiple times. She finally pulled away from him, and got out of bed. She walked into Madison's room, and saw that the baby was awake. Maddy was just lying there, sucking her thumb. When she saw her mother, her eyes lit up and she reached her tiny hands towards the ceiling. Sara reached down and picked her up, holding her closely. Grissom walked in and saw his wife cuddling their daughter, silent tears falling down her cheeks. She turned around and asked, "How could someone even _think_ of harming someone so innocent and precious?"

His heart ached and he walked over to her. Maddy had her legs curled underneath her, her cheek was lying on her mother's shoulder, and her face was facing away from her mother. One hand was gripping onto Sara's nightgown, the other was in her mouth. She was just resting there, contempt to be in her mother's arms. Grissom stroked Madison's chubby cheek, and she smiled wide, showing her pink gums.

Sara walked into Erika's room, and saw that the infant was sleeping peacefully. Erika also had her thumb in her mouth, but was lying on her stomach. Sara cradled Madison and watched her other daughter sleep soundly. Grissom stepped up behind his wife, snaked his arms around her waist, and rested his jaw on her shoulder. His gaze switched from Maddy, to Erika, to his shaken wife. Grissom ran his fingers up and down her arms lightly.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he whispered in her ear. "I'm always here for you, you know...I'm not leaving."

She nodded, and walked back into Madison's nursery. The baby had fallen asleep on her mother's shoulder. Sara gently placed her back into the crib after kissing her temple lightly. Grissom led her back to their bedroom, and they crawled back into bed. Grissom pulled her close and asked, "What was the nightmare about?"

Sara took in a shaky breath before saying, "Well, at first it wasn't bad...just you and the twins smiling at me. Then a shadow came into the room with a knife. It held you hostage before slashing your throat...and it did the same thing with the twins. I was crying and screaming as the shadow killed you guys...then it turned and I saw my mother. Gil, I'm so scared...I don't want her to hurt you or the kids. She's mentally unstable, but no one can see it...she won't stop until she gets what she wants. And all she wants to do is hurt me...by killing everything I love."

Grissom held onto her more tightly than before. Tears were falling down Sara's cheeks, and his heart was tearing as he listened to the raw emotion in his wife's voice. He rubbed Sara's back soothingly as she went on.

"Ever since I was a kid, I had to look over my shoulder...even after Dad was dead and Mom was locked up," Sara said quietly. "I looked forward to sleep because it would take me away from the hellhole I was forced to call home. But even that wasn't enough."

_Nine year old Sara sat in her room, trying to drone out the voices of her parents. Obscenities were being yelled at by both adults, glasses were shattering, and occasionally the sound of slapping echoed throughout the house. It was late at night, and her parents had been arguing for ever an hour. Sara held her hands tightly over her ears in an attempt to make her parent's voices grow quieter._

_Sara eventually gave up and just tried to get to sleep, praying that her dreams would take her away from this place. She got to sleep quickly enough, but she still heard their argument in the background of her dreams. She tossed and turned as she heard her mother and father screaming. What was even worse was the fact that she could now see her parents fighting. She heard a smack, and saw her mother with a bloody nose._

_Sara opened her eyes, and continued to hear her parents, but at least she couldn't see it. She knew her life was screwed up when she continued to see and hear her parents fighting in her sleep_

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_Eleven year old Sara is walking down the halls of her school, terrified. Her father had just raped her the night before, and now she's seeing him everywhere. She walked to the gym where she knew she had to change. Hand-shaped bruises peppered her wrists, and bruised were scattered all throughout the rest of her skinny body. She rushed into the locker room and hoped that if she was quick enough that no one would see the bruises._

_She was partially right. She got changed quickly so no one saw the bruises all over her body, but she couldn't hide the hand-shaped ones on her wrists. The gym teacher asked her about it, and Sara had to think up a quick lie._

_"I, uh, I went rock climbing the weekend on a real cliff," she said. "I was almost at the top and lost my footing...I was dangling and my parents had to grab my wrists to save me from falling."_

_This was a load of BS. First off, Sara didn't do anything on the weekends except be used as a punching bag. Secondly, if she _was_ dangling from a cliff, her father would shove her right off. But, the PE teacher seemed to buy it, and let her go._

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_Thirteen year old Sara was running. She had been running for the past hour, and she was still going. There were tons of people walking on the streets, and each on of them looked just like her parents. It hadn't even been a month since her mother was found guilty, and nearly seven months since she had watched her mother kill her father. She ran and ran and ran, trying to get away from everything. She eventually went home as it grew dark. She snuck up to her room and sat on the bed, trying to forget everything. She had been to psychiatrist after psychiatrist, and none of them were helping. She was on medicine for depression and that wasn't working either._

_She sat back against her head board and took in some deep, calming breaths. She sighed and tried to go to sleep. As soon as she closed her eyes, she was brought back to Hell. She saw her mother and father screaming and punching, and herself as a young child hiding in a closet of her bedroom. She heard every single word of their argument, and her name was often thrown into the fight._

_Sara jerked awake and started crying. Even after being taken away from that place she could hear the arguments lingering. Breathing heavily, Sara heard her parent's voices taunting her. They were telling her that she was a bitch and that it was her fault that everything was so horrible at home. Sara covered her ears in a poor attempt to make the voices go away. She buried her head into her knees and all she saw was darkness at first, but then she started seeing her childhood. She saw her rapes, beatings, and hospital stays, and she heard all of her lies and cries._

_"Please," she moaned, "just make it stop! Don't make me remember...I don't want to remember!"_

_Since then she had dreaded going to sleep. However, she soon found out that if she took a pill for depression before going to bed, she would get a few fours of blackness when she slept._

Tears were in her eyes as she was brought back to her old bedroom. She saw herself crying and rocking herself back and forth. She shook her head and buried her face into her husband's chest. He ran his fingers through her hair and held her tight. He kissed her and whispered, "I wish I could do something to help."

She shook her head sadly and said, "I only remember in my sleep...how can I get help in my sleep? You can't help me...nobody can help me now."

* * *

**A/N 2:** This information about people seeing and hearing things in their sleep is accurate...I got this info from theyHAUNTme. She helps me a lot with how Sara gets traumatized. Okay, please review if you still like it...reviews make the updates quicker. 


	18. Ch 18: In the Night

MEMORIES:

Chapter 18: In the Night

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything. Kelly Clarkson in mentioned in a few chapters, so I don't own any of her songs or anything else of hers.

**Summary:** A case really hits home for Sara, and she opens up to Grissom about her childhood. Then her past comes back to haunt her when her mother is released from prison. GSR!

**Rating:** M (for the language/content, not _that_)

**A/N:** This doesn't have a beta, so all mistakes are mine. Also, this fic has some content that may not be appropriate for some people. DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT LIKE IT WHEN CHILDREN ARE ABUSED!!!

* * *

Grissom's heart ached for his wife. He wanted SO badly to take away her pain, but all he could do is hold her and let her know she was loved. She was sobbing in his arms, and he was just holding her tight. He planted kisses in her hair and caressed circles onto her back with his hand. She buried her face into his neck, and curled up into a ball.

"Honey, it's okay," he said. "I'll make sure your mother never lays a hand on our kids. She can't come within a hundred yards of us, remember. Everything is going to be okay."

"Gil, how many people have we seen in our job actually obeyed the restraining order?" she cried, holding him tightly. "She won't stop Gil...she's going to keep coming after me. God, this is all my fault...why couldn't I just plead the fifth? I should've been a better child...then maybe things would be different. This was all my fault."

Grissom pulled her away, and took hold of her jaw firmly, but not hard enough to hurt her. He looked into her eyes and said, "Sara, NONE of your childhood was a result of you. NONE of it! Sara, as you said before, it shouldn't hurt to be a child...none of it was your fault. Your parents had NO right to any of that shit to you! Honey, please just don't blame yourself, because it wasn't your fault!"

Sara nodded and leaned into her husband's arms. She was still shaking, but felt a bit more at peace. Sara closed her eyes and just relaxed, relishing the feeling of love. Soon enough, she fell asleep. Grissom picked up her light form and carried her to their bedroom. He set her down and climbed in next to her before covering their bodies with the sheets and comforter. Grissom wrapped his arms comfortingly around Sara as she curled up into a fetal position as always. She relaxed, still asleep, and Grissom joined her in dream-land.

Grissom woke up a couple hours later alone. He moved his hand to the spot his wife usually lie, but it was cool, meaning she had been up for awhile. He looked at the clock, and noticed they should still be asleep. As nervous feeling arose in the pit of his stomach, he got out of bed. He opened the door and started towards the living room, where he saw a lump on the couch. As he approached, he saw it was Sara. He rushed over to her and knelt down, and gasped when he saw her split lip and bruised nose. He shook her shoulders, praying for her to wake up.

"Sara! Sara, baby wake up," he said loudly.

She started to move lethargically, and she opened her eyes. Grissom took her hand in his and asked, "Sara, what the hell happened?"

She groaned, but then her eyes shot open in fear. Her breathing grew rapid and uneven as tears welled up in her eyes. She choked out, "Gil, the twins!"

Grissom stood up and ran to Erika's room, and when he did not see the infant sleeping in her crib, his heart hammered and bile arose in his throat. He ran to check on Maddy, even though he knew she was most likely gone as well. His fears were confirmed when Maddy was gone from her crib too. He heard Sara's scream as he got out his cell phone and called Jim. He went to comfort his sobbing wife as he explained to the detective that someone took Maddy and Erika. Brass assured him they would be there soon and that they would get the kids back, safe and sound. He thanked his friend before hanging up to wrap both arms around Sara. She was shaking violently as sobs wracked her body.

"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!" she cried, dropping to her knees. "Gil, they can't be gone, they can't! Tell me this is a horrible nightmare! Please, God...they can't be gone!"

His heart broke as he listened to his wife. He held onto her tightly, his own tears flowing into her hair. He helped her stand up and helped her over to the couch. The distraught couple sat down and Grissom hugged Sara tightly. Her face was buried in his chest and her knees were pulled up to her chin.

"Gil, I'm so sorry," she whispered.

He swallowed the huge lump in his throat before asking, "Baby, what happened?"

She sniffled and said, "I, uh, I woke up in the m-middle of the night because of a nightmare. I just n-needed to check on the kids, s-so I walked to Erika's room and she was awake, so I p-picked her up and walked to M-Maddy's room. She was awake t-too so I was just talking to them about how m-much we love them and how I would never let anything h-happen to th-th-them."

She let out a loud wail and the tears streamed down her cheeks. Grissom held her tighter and waited for her to continue. She calmed down enough to say, "And then the next thing I know I'm on the floor, seeing someone running with Maddy and Erika. They seemed to be asleep, so I don't know if she drugged them or did something else. I think I ran after them, but the person spun around and punched me...Gil, it was my mom!"

Grissom's jaw dropped, and rage built up inside of him. His breathing became deep and uneven as he clenched his fists tightly and grit his teeth. He was still holding Sara in his arms, and she felt him tense up. She looked into his eyes and saw fury burning in their depths. She then took a deep breath and said, "When she punched me and I saw it was her, I was too shocked to do anything. Gil, I just let her run away with our babies...I just let her run! But then I think a-adrenaline kicked in and I r-ran after her. I got close to her but she hit me, hard. She put Maddy and Erika into the car and then turned around to me...then the next thing I see is you. Gil, I did nothing...NOTHING, to stop her!"

Grissom pulled her tightly against him and stroked her back soothingly. He nuzzled her hair and kissed her, attempting to calm her down. Sara was curled up into a tight ball and was shaking. Her face was ashen and drained from all color. In between kisses, he said, "Honey, they'll find her and we'll get them back."

"We'd better!" cried Sara. "If something happens to them or we don't find them...alive...I don't know what I'll do. It'll be my fault if something happens to them! Gil, I'm so scared."

Grissom closed his eyes but that didn't stop the flood of tears that broke free. He wiped his eyes, and then heard a knock on the door. He untangled himself from Sara's arms and went to answer the door. Jim Brass, the CSI nightshift team, and a few police officers were standing there. The CSIs went to process the nurseries after giving their condolences and reassurances to the Grissoms. Brass, however, walked with Sara and Grissom to their living room to collect their statements. Sara quietly told him, "Jim, my mother took them...she has them."

His eyebrows shot up in surprise. He cleared his throat and told the police officers to be on search for Laura Sidle, and her car. Since she had already been in the system and since Sara knew her mom's license plate number, it wouldn't be difficult to find her. Brass ordered the officers to get as many hands they could afford on the lookout for Laura Sidle and the babies. He then turned back to Sara, and she told him exactly what she had told Gil. He thanked her and reassured them that they would find the infants.

"Jim, there must be _something_ we can do," said Grissom, exasperated. "We can't just sit here while an insane, murderous woman has our children."

Brass sighed and said, "I'm sorry, Gil, but you know the drill. I promise I will tell you when we find something. Just relax and comfort Sara."

Grissom nodded, knowing Brass was right. He walked back over to Sara and sat down on the couch. He held her and rocked her back and forth, calming both of them down.

**CSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSI**

A few hours later found the Grissoms on the road. They had decided to be on the lookout for Sara's mother instead of waiting around. Sara was sitting in the passenger's seat, staring out the window for her mother's car. The suddenly heard over the radio that they saw a car with Laura Sidle's license plate number parked outside of a small, rundown home. As soon as they heard the address, Grissom shoved his foot down on the gas pedal and shot towards the address. When they got there, Brass – surrounded by several police officers – was standing with a handcuffed woman. When Grissom stopped the car, Sara ran up to her mother and screamed, "You bitch! Where are they?"

Laura looked up at Sara, fire in her eyes. She smirked slyly at her daughter and said, "Where's who?"

It took all Sara had not to slap her mother across the face. Her blood was boiling as she repeated, "You damn well know who I'm talking about, now WHERE ARE THEY? You tell me right now!"

Laura smiled and just said, "I frankly don't know what you're talking about."

"Yeah, bullshit!" snarled Sara. "You took Maddy and Erika...for Christ's sake you knocked me unconscious on my couch! Goddamn it Mom, where are they? Where did you take them? Who has them? Are they okay...at least let me know they're okay!"

However, Laura just stood there, tight-lipped. Frustrated, Sara stormed off. She passed her husband, ignoring his open arms. When she came upon a tree, she stopped and punched it, scraping some skin off of her knuckles. She sank to the ground and buried her face in her knees as sobs shook her body.

* * *

**A/N 2:** Ooh, how mean am I? Well, this kinda came to me while sleeping, so I just put it in. I hope you liked it...please leave a review! I'll give you a sneak peek at the next chapter if you review! 


	19. Ch 19: Nosy Neighbors

MEMORIES:

Chapter 18: Nosy Neighbors

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything. Kelly Clarkson in mentioned in a few chapters, so I don't own any of her songs or anything else of hers.

**Summary:** A case really hits home for Sara, and she opens up to Grissom about her childhood. Then her past comes back to haunt her when her mother is released from prison. GSR!

**Rating:** M (for the language/content, not _that_)

**A/N:** This doesn't have a beta, so all mistakes are mine. Also, this fic has some content that may not be appropriate for some people. DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT LIKE IT WHEN CHILDREN ARE ABUSED!!!

* * *

Sara sat on the ground, sobbing into her knees. Her hand hurt like hell and was bleeding, but she didn't care. Her kids were gone, her mother didn't have them, and wouldn't tell them who had them or where they were! Life was so cruel. Why did everything have to happen to her? She suddenly felt someone wrap their arms around her, and she inhaled her husband's scent. She buried her face in his chest and held onto him for dear life.

"Gil, where are they?" she cried. "Mom won't tell me ANYTHING! Gil, where are our babies?"

He took a deep breath and said firmly, "Sara, we are going to get them back...I promise. We won't stop looking until they're safe with us at home, okay? Just please, for their sakes, calm down."

She sniffled and nodded. She wiped the tears away and stood up with her husband. He pulled her into his chest and just held her for a few moments, rocking her back and forth. He then took her hand and looked at it. It hadn't quite stopped bleeding, so he went to the back of his truck, pulled out the first aid kit, and bandaged it up. Afterwards, Sara tried again to get her mother to tell them where she took Erika and Madison. Again, all she got was the silent treatment from her mother.

"Mom, please!" she begged. "They are my world...don't you remember the love you had for me?"

Laura's face softened and she whispered, "Yes."

Sara's hopes lifted as she prayed her mother would tell her where they were now that she had gotten to her emotions. However, Laura's face turned hard and cold as she snarled, "But you tried against me! You helped them put me in jail you little bitch! You deserve to rot in hell...you never should've been born!"

"Hey!" shouted Grissom, approaching Sara's side. "I love Sara very much, and we both love our children...why are you tearing apart our happy family? Just because you never had one doesn't mean Sara's shouldn't either! She deserves happiness for once in her life...now, will you please tell us where our children are?"

"No...you're both investigators," Laura stated bitterly. "Find them yourself! You're so used to suspects cracking and telling you where the missing victims are...well, I'm NOT going to tell you where those brats are! You'll have to gather the clues and locate them for yourself...hopefully you'll find them in time. He has a really bad temper...and punches things when he's frustrated."

"When who's frustrated?" asked Sara.

Laura smirked at her and said, "The man who has them...he owed me. He has a very bad temper...so chop, chop, hurry up and find those precious angels!"

Sara stormed off towards Warrick, who was by her mother's car. She crossed her arms in front of her chest and demanded, "So, how far was her last trip?"

Warrick tapped a few buttons on his laptop before saying, "Eighteen miles...Sara, I'm really sorry about what happened. But I want you to know that we're not gonna stop until we find them, okay?"

She nodded, tears in her eyes. She walked away, wiping away the tears. She got to the car and she leaned against it sighing. Her husband walked over to her and said, "Come on, we need to get a picture of them so the media can broadcast it...maybe someone has seen them. You never know."

"Gil, all of this was my fault," she whispered looking at her husband. "I didn't hear her break it, I didn't stop her...I didn't go after her! If I would've acted straight away, they would still be here with us!"

Grissom pulled her into a hug as the tears rolled down her cheeks. He sighed and said, "Sara, stop it...just stop it. It wasn't your fault...she's not in her right mind. We can't give up hope...we'll get them back, you'll see. Now come on...let's get that photo."

Sara nodded and got into the vehicle. They drove back to their house, where Greg, Nick, and Catherine were processing every square inch. Grissom walked in and returned to his distraught wife with a picture of the twins taken a few days ago. They gave it to Jim who in turn gave it to the media people. Within a few hours, their picture was on every news station, telling people to keep their eyes out for the missing twins.

**CSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSI**

Across town, a young couple was grilling outside, making small talk. The wife said, "Jake, did you hear about the two missing kids?"

Jake looked up from the hamburgers he was frying to look at his wife. He shook his head and said, "No, what about them?"

"Well, on the news it said the twin daughters of Gil and Sara Grissom of the Las Vegas Crime Lab were taken from their home late last night...they have no idea where they are," said his wife, Sabrina. "Those poor parents...they're CSIs and now they have to investigate the kidnapping of their own children."

Jake nodded sympathetically and continued cooking their meal. They suddenly heard an infant start to scream and the wife said, "Hon, our neighbor doesn't have a kid, does he?"

Her husband looked at her and said, "No...I'm gonna check it out. Just to make sure everything's okay."

She nodded and they walked over to their neighbor's house. Sabrina knocked on the door and a grumpy looking middle-aged man was holding a screaming infant. Sabrina instantly recognized her as one of the missing Grissom children. She said, "Um, hi, I was just wondering who this cutie was...you've never had an infant here before."

"Niece," the man grunted.

He looked very run-down. His hair was greasy, he hadn't shaved in awhile, his clothes were worn and stained, and he had a bad odor. Sabrina bit her lip and said, "Okay, well, um, bye then. If you, um, need any help, um, we live just next door, feel free to call or drop her off."

They walked back to their house, and Jake instantly asked his wife, "Sabrina, are you _sure_ that was one of the Grissom kids?"

She nodded and led him inside, where the television was on. The twins' picture was on the screen and Jake sighed as he nodded in recognition. He got the phone and called the number on the bottom of the screen, which was Detective Jim Brass's cell phone number

"Hello, this is Jake Laymen, and I think my neighbor has one of the Grissom kids," he said.

"You think?" the detective asked.

"Yes, our neighbor doesn't have kids so when my wife and I heard and infant screaming, we went to check it out," he explained. "When we got back to our house, she told me that was one of the Grissom kids she saw on TV...so I called you."

"There are two kids missing...are there two babies with him?"

"Um, I'm not sure...we only saw the one," Jake said. "Please, sir, you need to hurry...the man is agitated and is in poor living conditions."

"Okay, thank you...what is your neighbor's address?" Bras asked, getting out his pen and notepad.

Jake told him the address and Brass hung up after thanking the man. Grissom, who was standing right beside the detective, asked, "Jim, who was that?"

Brass sighed and said, "Gil, a young man called and said he thinks his neighbor has one of your kids."

"What about the other one?" asked Grissom instantly.

Brass started for his car and said, "They don't know...the man was agitated, so we need to hurry. Hopefully this wasn't a prank call."

Grissom got into his own vehicle after acquiring the address from his friend. Sara was sleeping but woke up after Grissom sped off after Brass. She was angry at herself for falling asleep, but asked, "Gil, where are we going?"

"Brass got a call that someone's neighbor has one of our babies," Grissom said quickly. "We need to get there quickly because the caller said the neighbor was agitated, and no, we don't know if he has them both."

Sara's heart was racing as they sped off towards the place where one, if not both, of their kids were.

* * *

**A/N 2:** I hope you guys still like this...please review to tell me if you did or didn't. I won't be offended if you flame or anything...I'm a big girl. 


	20. Ch 20: In the Rain

MEMORIES:

Chapter 20: In the Rain

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything. Kelly Clarkson in mentioned in a few chapters, so I don't own any of her songs or anything else of hers.

**Summary:** A case really hits home for Sara, and she opens up to Grissom about her childhood. Then her past comes back to haunt her when her mother is released from prison. GSR!

**Rating:** M (for the language/content, not _that_)

**A/N:** This doesn't have a beta, so all mistakes are mine. Also, this fic has some content that may not be appropriate for some people. DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT LIKE IT WHEN CHILDREN ARE ABUSED!!!

* * *

Sara was strumming her fingers anxiously on her thighs the whole car ride to the place where the call came from. She prayed that both of her children were there and they were unharmed. She looked up at the ominous sky and heard a raindrop hit was windshield. More followed that one and pretty soon it was pouring down rain from the heavens. They saw a flash of lightning and a clap of thunder followed. Sara bounced her knee nervously and bit her lip as they continued following Brass. Grissom saw his wife's distress and nervousness and he grabbed her hand. She squeezed it and then looked at their intertwined fingers. Her jaw was tense as they continued driving. She stared out the window, listening to the rain drops pelting against the car. 

They followed Brass for almost twenty minutes before the detective screeched to a halt. Grissom parked next to his friend and he and Sara jumped out of the car. Brass was talking to a young couple and Sara saw them point to a house. Brass nodded his head, thanked them, and started walking towards the house. The Grissoms rushed up to him and, over the storm, he shouted, "They were the Laymens, they called saying their neighbor had one of your kids."

Sara prayed he had both of her kids. They heard and infant screaming Sara grabbed her husband's arm. He held her close and took her hand in his. She was shaking and he ran his hand up and down her back soothingly. Brass knocked loudly and shouted, "This is the Las Vegas Police Department...open the door!"

They waited, and they still heard an infant crying at the top of its lungs. Sara was bouncing on the balls of her toes and Brass shouted, "Open the door or we'll break it down!"

"Jim, open the God-damn door!" Sara screamed.

It was protocol to give the owner of the house 60 seconds to open the door. Jim waited until his watch read one minute had passed before having the officers break the door down. The three rushed into the house and they saw a man sitting on his couch with a beer, watching TV. Brass whipped out his pistol and demanded the man to stand up and show his hands. He did so, and Brass asked the man his name.

"Derrick Groff," the man grunted, obviously drunk.

They all still heard the baby screaming, and Jim asked, "Where's the baby?"

Groff thumbed behind him. They all turned to look in the kitchen but the baby wasn't there. Sara screamed as she saw an infant outside on the deck in the rain...her infant. She ran outside in the pouring rain and her daughter looked over at her. Erika recognized her mother and reached for her, and she reached a high pitch in her scream. Sara ran to her daughter and picked up the soaking infant. Sara held the baby close to her, trying to warm her up. She walked back inside, tears streaming down her face. Grissom walked over to his wife and child and embraced the two of them. Brass smiled slightly at the half-way reunited family, and turned back to Derrick, who was in handcuffs.

"Where's the other one?" he snarled.

"What other one?" asked Groff.

Brass rolled his eyes and said, "You know what I'm talking about...the other Grissom child! Laura Sidle had two infants with her!"

"No, Laura only gave me this loud-mouth," said the man harshly, but there was honestly in his eyes. "She, she just shoved her in my arms and told me to look after her for awhile...that's it, dude!"

Brass could tell he was telling the truth, but ordered the police officers to search the house anyways. Sara's heart dropped when they said Maddy wasn't anywhere in the house. Her focus was then fixed on the crying infant in her arms. Erika was soaking wet and frozen to the bone. Grissom took off his coat and wrapped his daughter in it. Erika was still crying at the top of her lungs, though. Sara thanked her husband for the coat, and she held her daughter close. She rubbed Erika's back and whispered quietly to her, trying to quiet her down.

Brass took Derrick Groff to the police car while Grissom and Sara walked out to their car. They drove home to try and warm Erika up. The search was still on for Madison on, though. Television broadcasts were showing their picture and radios were telling people to keep their eyes open for a child who may not be where it should, or for a child who will not stop screaming. Grissom was watching the news while Sara was giving Erika a warm bath. He saw Maddy's photograph on the television set and sighed. He set his head in his hands and sent up a quick prayer to the Lord above to keep his baby safe. He heard his wife talking softly to their daughter as she bathed the calm child. He turned the television off before walking into the bathroom. He knelt down beside his wife and wrapped his arm around her waist. She turned to face him and smiled gently. She kissed his cheek and whispered, "We'll find her, don't worry, Gil."

He sighed heavily and nodded. Sara wasn't sure if she was trying to convince herself of her husband, but then decided that they both needed convincing. Erika was splashing around in the water, happy as could be. She had no idea that her twin sibling was still missing; all she knew was that she was safe at home with her Mommy and Daddy. Grissom stroked his daughter's cheek before saying, "I'll go warm up her bottle."

Sara nodded and finished bathing her daughter. She then wrapped her daughter in a warm, fluffy towel and gently dried the infant off. Her brown eyes sparkled at her mother and Erika smiled widely. Sara's heart melted and ached as she thought of her other baby who was still not with them. She hugged Erika and said, "Oh Erika, I'm glad we found you when we did. Now all we need is your sister...I'm sorry for letting my mother take you two. I should've stopped her."

Erika just blinked and snuggled up against Sara. Tears welled up in Sara's eyes as she continued to dry off the infant. She dressed Erika in her sleepwear before joining her husband in the kitchen. He was testing the warmth of her bottle and walked over to them when he got it just right.

"May I?"

"Gil, she's your daughter too...you don't need to ask," Sara said softly, handed the baby over to her husband.

Grissom took the baby and stuck the nipple of the bottle into the infant's mouth. Erika sucked hungrily on the bottle until her little tummy was full. Grissom then set her up against his shoulder and patted her back. She let out a burp and then another before sighing. Erika rested her cheek against her father's shoulder and curled her feet under herself. She stuck her thumb into her mouth and her eyes drooped shut. Sara got her camera and snapped a quick photo before Grissom set her down for bed. He gently lay the sleeping infant in the crib and stood over her and watched her for several minutes. He was joined by his wife, who said, "She looks so peaceful."

He nodded and prayed that they would find her twin.

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**A/N 2:** It's my birthday, so please review and make me happy!! 


	21. Ch 21: Car Crashes

MEMORIES:

Chapter 21: Car Crashes

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything. Kelly Clarkson in mentioned in a few chapters, so I don't own any of her songs or anything else of hers.

**Summary:** A case really hits home for Sara, and she opens up to Grissom about her childhood. Then her past comes back to haunt her when her mother is released from prison. GSR!

**Rating:** M (for the language/content, not _that_)

**A/N:** This doesn't have a beta, so all mistakes are mine. Also, this fic has some content that may not be appropriate for some people. DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT LIKE IT WHEN CHILDREN ARE ABUSED!

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A young man was sitting on his recliner, eating his dinner, when he heard a cry come from the guest bedroom. He groaned and stood up, walking to the bedroom where an infant was sitting, screaming her lungs off. He gently picked her up and cooed, "Hey baby, what's wrong? And how come my brother never mentioned he had a daughter? Oh well, since he's working tonight, it's just you and me."

He bounced the baby, but she continued struggling and screaming. The man, Riley, sighed and said, "I know I'm not your Daddy...he'll be home soon, I promise. It's gonna be okay Maddy."

He quieted her down with a bottle and then lay her back down in the crib before going back to his dinner. He saw his brother pull into the driveway and he put his dish in the sink. The door opened and his brother growled, "How was she?"

"Wonderful, Drake...hey, how come I've never met Madison before?" Riley asked before leaving.

Drake shrugged and said, "I guess because it hurt too much to tell people about the death of her mother as well. Later bro."

Riley left and drove home. He flipped on the news and saw Gilbert Grissom on the television along with his wife and baby girl. The heading was 'Baby Grissom Still Missing'.

"If anybody knows anything of where our daughter could be, please contact either us or Captain Jim Brass," he said. "We were able to find one of our babies...we just want Erika's sister back home as well."

A photograph of the missing baby was shown on television, and Riley noticed with horror that the missing infant was his brother's daughter. He picked up the phone and dialed the number on the bottom of the screen and Captain Jim Brass answered it. Riley was shaking as he stuttered, "Uhm, my brother, uhm, my brother has the missing Grissom child."

"What?" the detective asked.

"My brother asked me to babysit his daughter tonight because he had to work," Riley began. "Well, he had NEVER mentioned anything about having a daughter before, but he said it was because it hurt too much to tell people about how her mother died. I didn't think anything of it...but I just saw her picture on the news."

"Are you sure it's her?" Brass asked.

Riley nodded vigorously and said, "Positive."

"Thank you...where does your brother live?" Brass asked, whipping out his notepad.

Riley told him, and then said, "Oh my God...you need to hurry. He seemed to be in a bad mood when he got home. I saw a whole lot of alcohol in his fridge...he gets a bad temper when he's drunk."

"Thank you...did Madison appear to be harmed in any way?"

Riley thought about it and said, "No...she just seemed scared and didn't want to be around me. I just thought she wanted her father, well me brother. I guess she wanted to go home."

"Okay, thank you...we're on our way there," he said. "Thank you SO much for your help."

They hung up and Riley massaged his temples. He grabbed his car keys and sped to his brother's house, where he heard a baby wailing. He pounded on the door and his brother answered. Drake paled at the sight of him and asked, "What are you doing here?"

"What did you do?" Riley shouted. "Why did you kidnap the Grissom's baby girl? Where is she?"

Drake aimed a punch at his brother, and Riley stumbled backwards. Drake pulled his brother into the house and shoved him into the wall. Drake punched him and said, "I didn't kidnap her...Laura Sidle told me to watch her for a few days. Now, nighty-night little brother."

**CSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSI**

Brass sprinted up to Grissom and Sara, out of breath. They looked at him with concern, and he waved around his notepad as he choked out, "We may...have a...lead. A guy called and...said his brother...has Madison. Let's go!"

"Here, I'll take Erika...go!" ordered Catherine, taking the baby from Sara. "GO!"

The Grissoms ran with Brass to the detective's car and hopped in. Brass turned on the sirens and headed towards the address he had written down. Sara bounced her knee up and down nervously as they neared the address. Grissom looked over at her and placed his hand on her knee. She stopped bouncing her knee, but started twiddling her thumbs in her lap instead. Grissom sighed and held his wife's hand. She looked at their hands, fresh tears welling in her eyes. Grissom pulled her to him and quietly comforted her.

"We're here," Brass told the nervous couple as he carelessly parked by the house.

The three of them vaulted out of the vehicle and sprinted up to the door. Brass pounded on the door, declaring that the door be opened. They didn't receive a response, and waited the required sixty seconds before busting down the door. They searched the house, and found an unconscious man on the floor of the house. Brass called for an ambulance as the police officers continued to search the house. They returned to the living room, shaking their heads.

"The house is clear," one of them said. "No sign of the baby. There was some more blood in the nursery though."

Sara rushed to the nursery and looked at the small puddle of blood that was on the floor. Grissom was right behind her, holding her back so she wouldn't contaminate the scene. Sara's knees felt weak and she felt sick to her stomach as she saw a note on the crib that read:_Since my brother ratted me out, I needed to move. If you thought you'd get your little girl back, you're wrong._

Nick, Warrick, and Greg all walked into the room. The offered Grissom and Sara their condolences before getting to work. The collected the blood sample and collected the note. They also collected a DNA sample from Grissom and Sara to run against the blood.

"We'll get her back, guys, I promise," said Nick, laying a hand reassuringly on Sara's shoulder. "Brass is putting an APB out on the guy's car right now...someone is bound to spot him."

Grissom and Sara walked out of the house where Brass was talking on the phone. He sounded worried and frantic. He hung up after thanking the caller. Jim turned and looked at the couple before saying grimly, "Somebody spotted his car."

"Jim, what happened?" asked Grissom, reading his friend's expression.

"Is my baby okay?" Sara asked.

Brass took a deep breath before quietly saying, "The car has been in a severe car accident. It's wrapped around a telephone pole."

"Oh my God!" screamed Sara.

The three headed for the car and drove out to where the accident had been reported. Silent tears were flowing down Sara's cheeks as she wondered about what condition her baby was in. They approached the scene and saw firemen, police officers, and paramedics all there. They were working frantically to free the people trapped inside the car, which appeared to have just spun out of control and hit the telephone pole. Sara hopped out of the car and saw the driver of the car, bleeding and unconscious, slouched forward on the steering wheel. She couldn't see from this angle whether or not there was a baby in the vehicle, but she prayed for her daughter's sake she was not.

The paramedics – thanks to the Jaws of Life – finally got the car doors open and lifted the driver out. They heard him shout, "Weak pulse, get a stretcher over here! Oh my God...there's an infant in here!"

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**A/N 2:** Sorry for taking so long to post the chapter. I hope you still enjoy this story, so please let me know if you do or don't by reviewing. 


	22. Ch 22: Late Night Conversations

MEMORIES:

Chapter 22: Late Night Conversations

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything. Kelly Clarkson in mentioned in a few chapters, so I don't own any of her songs or anything else of hers.

**Summary:** A case really hits home for Sara, and she opens up to Grissom about her childhood. Then her past comes back to haunt her when her mother is released from prison. GSR!

**Rating:** M (for the language/content, not that)

**A/N:** This doesn't have a beta, so all mistakes are mine. Also, this fic has some content that may not be appropriate for some people. DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT LIKE IT WHEN CHILDREN ARE ABUSED!

**A/N 2:** I am so sorry for the delay. I've had a HUGE writer's block with this story, and did not like anything I wrote for this chapter. I kept on arguing with myself about killing Madison or letting her live...so read to find out what happens! Hope you still like this story!

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"Oh my God...there's an infant in there!"

Those words echoed in Sara's head. Her heart stopped and the world seemed to as well. Everyone was moving around her hastily and making a cacophony of noises, yet she heard nothing. Nothing but the words, "Oh my God...there's an infant in there!" bounced around inside of Sara's ringing ears. She desperately tried to get a glimpse of the infant inside of the vehicle, but she saw nothing. She tried running up to the demolished car, but Grissom held her back as several officers moved to block her. She moved to face Grissom, tears brimming in her eyes.

"Gil...our baby!" she choked out, on the verge of sobbing.

He pulled her tightly against his chest and stroked her back soothingly. Sara blinked in a poor attempt to restrain the torrent of tears that threatened to flow. The tears broke through the barriers of her lids and fell down her cheeks. Her body shook as she sobbed on her husband's shoulder. Grissom could feel Sara's heart racing a mile a minute, and he was positive his heart was pulsing that rapidly. He leaned in and kissed her forehead tenderly. He took her over to their car and tried to distract her from all the commotion going on beyond the crowd. They leaned against the front of their car and Grissom snaked his arm loosely around her waist.

"Please, God, don't let that be my baby in that car!" Sara whispered, praying to the Lord above. "Gil, that can't be her! It just can't be! Maybe it's a different baby, but that baby inside of that wreck is not mine!"

"Sara, let the paramedics do their jobs and we'll know whether it is or isn't," Grissom said. "Come on, let's take your mind off of this whole thing."

"Take my _mind_ off of it!" exclaimed Sara, appalled. "Gilbert Grissom, you cannot _possibly_ expect me to just _forget_ that my baby could be DYING inside that car! What the _hell_ is wrong with you?"

"Sara, please, just...can we just talk about something else while they're getting the people out of the car?" asked Grissom pleadingly. "Honey please...you need to get something else running through your head. Can you think of a happy memory?"

Sara cocked her head and raised her eyebrows. Grissom pursed his lips and then said, "Okay...come on Sara, there must be something happy."

Sara racked her brains for memories from her early childhood. Sara smiled as she finally came up with one.

_5 year old Sara was sitting in her bed, bouncing excitedly. Her room was pitch-black and she looked at the luminous clock that sat on the bedside table; it was 2:30 in the morning. She sat there, knowing she should probably get some sleep, but just couldn't get back to sleep. She was smiling to herself, thinking that in six hours she would be sitting through her first day of kindergarten. She heard someone approaching her door, and she instantly stilled. The door flew open, revealing her brother, and she breathed a sigh of relief. Michael walked over to her and sat beside her on the bed. He could only make out her bouncing silhouette in the dark room._

_"Sara what are you doing?" he whispered, praying that their parents wouldn't wake up. "You need to be sleeping...you've got a big day ahead of you tomorrow."_

_"I can't sleep!" Sara whispered back. "I'm too excited! I can't wait to read, to write, to start doing math, to–"_

_"For God's sake, shh!" he hissed, moving his hand to quickly cover his sister's mouth._

_They listened intently as the heard movement from their parent's room. Michael's heart was beating so fast, he was sure that that would wake up his folks. But then he heard his father's loud, grunting snore and his mother's soft, easy breathing. They were right in the next room and the walls were thin to begin with, and it didn't help that there were several vents leading from Sara's room to theirs. Michael kept his hand firmly against his sister's mouth, knowing that if they woke up their parents by their talking at this hour, there'd be hell to pay...and no kindergarten for Sara. Michael looked directly into his sister's eyes and breathed, "I'm sorry, Sara. Look, I know you're excited, but you need to be quiet, okay. If Mom and Dad wake up, they will NOT be happy...especially Dad. Now, please...you need to be quiet. Why are you awake at this hour?"_

_"Because I can't sleep...why are _you_ awake?" Sara inquired, raising an eyebrow._

_Michael smiled before responding, "Because I heard you bouncing from my room! It's a wonder that Mom and Dad didn't wake up...you are one lucky kid!"_

_Sara grinned brightly at him, and he saw it. He smiled and hugged his sister close to him. He pulled away and ruffled his sister's hair. He picked her up (since she was still so light) and walked with her to the kitchen as quietly as possible. They got to the kitchen, and, without turning on any lights, Michael poured her a glass of milk. As she drank, Michael could have sworn he heard one of his parents get out of bed. He strained his ears, but heard nothing. He let out a breath and told his sister, "If Mom or Dad comes in here, I'm going to tell them you had a nightmare and the milk is to help lull you back to sleep...just go along with it."_

_Even in the dark, he saw Sara nod. He waited patiently for her to finish, knowing that the cold refreshment would help her fall asleep. When she did, he quietly cleaned the cup and put it back in the cupboard where he found it. His picked her back up and headed back for her bedroom. She rested her head against his shoulder, and stuck her thumb in her mouth, a bad habit she had acquired. Michael stroked her back and kissed her temple protectively. He walked into her room, moved back the covers, and gently laid his little sister in the bed. He stroked her hair and whispered, "Goodnight Sara, I'll see you in the morning."_

_"Mike, is school fun?" she asked groggily. "I mean, you're _seventeen_...you're going into your _senior year_! You've been through all of the grades!"_

_"Yeah, Sara...it's fun," Michael said with a small smile. "You learn something new every day and the teachers are nice. You'll love it...you're way smarter than me, so it'll be so much better for you. Now, go to sleep."_

_"M'kay," she murmured. "Love you."_

_Michael smiled and left the room, sighing. He knew that even though his sister had brains, she wouldn't ever have a successful life unless she got out of this place._

Grissom smiled as he listened to his wife's story. He was glad she was distracted from the commotion going on in front of them. He took up her hand and she said, "Michael was right...I loved school. It was the only way I could get away from home. And that night with Michael was one of the only ones I can remember. Every other time he was ushering me into my room before Dad hit me. He was always willing to take a punch for me...I never got to thank him."

He pulled her close to him and kissed the top of her head. A sudden wave of murmuring washed over the crowd. They were all muttering things like, "The poor thing," and "she was too young," and "I can't imagine the grief her parents will go through." Sara and Grissom rushed up to the crowd and saw Brass talking with some bystanders who saw the accident happen. A paramedic was wheeling the unconscious man to an ambulance, but they were putting a white sheet over an infant. Sara let out a cry and held onto her husband's arm.

"Jim," he said, getting the detective's attention.

Brass nodded and the three of them walked up to the paramedic. Brass flashed his ID badge and said, "This is Doctor Gil Grissom and his wife Sara Grissom...that baby may be theirs. Would you please lift up the sheet so they can make either a positive or a negative identification?"

The paramedic nodded and slowly pulled back the white sheet covering the small body. Tears welled up in Sara's eyes as she looked at the infant's pale, blood-covered face. Bruises peppered her small face from the crash, and glass was imbedded in her face. Her eyes were closed, but the couple was sure that if they were open, they would be bright and twinkling. Sara looked at the infant and cried in relief...this was not her baby. Grissom held her tightly and his head dropped down to hers and he kissed her forehead comfortingly. He looked at Brass and shook his head, saying, "She not ours."

Brass, of course, knew that, but they needed to identify her. He nodded and dismissed them, thanking them. They walked back to their car, and Sara finally cried in joy. She was so glad that the baby in that car was not theirs, but couldn't imagine the grief the parents of the infant would go through. She wrapped her arms around her thin torso and sat on the hood of their car again. Grissom joined her and intertwined his fingers in hers. He smiled and kissed her gently on the cheek.

"Thank God that wasn't Maddy," she whispered. "But that was who she was supposed to be with, right? Then if that wasn't her...where is she?"

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**A/N 3:** So sorry for the delay. I hope you are still enjoying this story. If you are, please let me know by leaving a review!


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